Friday, March 28, 2008
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. It is dangerouse trying to rationalize one's emotions. Since the death of my Gran, and GF and I languishing on the rocks, things have been tough to say the least! I cannot make myself feel something as I do not feel, I am numb, but I can make myself do the right thing for others despite how I feel.
Like a cold Yorkie pudding (ta Pea's), I just want to be left alone, be with my own emotions and thoughts. I dont want to explain to everyone that my Grans passing was a blessing (it was), thats she led a good life (she did), although she suffered (from old age), I am sad that she is not here, but I just want to be left alone, not have to explain, not have to fake a smile. But being a guy, I have to be there for everyone else, I will do the right thing, for now.
I will wait until this feeling passes.
This is not a cool feeling, but I suppose it makes us who we are. A bit introspective and dark these days...the sun will come out.
I start my new job on the 1st April, thats kinda cool and scary.