Monday, February 25, 2008

Sheez, what a week and weekend! Its been all Power Ranges A-GOOOOOOO.

So I attended a mates engagment party, a beautiful house in Umhlanga, sea views that went on forever, food of every kind (my fav sushi, I vacumed that stuff!!), Durbans beautiful were present (and my ex. cringe, we had a good chat though). ST's (groom) speech was very moving, and all the lass's were snorting back tears. This is what I want to ask, how do we know its all going to last? How do we know that the person that we are dedicating our lives too, is not goingto change the minute we get married and turn into a psycho animal. I understand its about working together, being a team, and all that logical bumpf, how do we know...I think those are one of the cosmic questions like: Why are we here, what does it all mean.

The reason why I ask, is that I am thinking some big things with regards to GF, I want to be sure, I want it to be her. I just dont want to get divoced!

To qoute Roxette: "Life ooohhhh life, ooohhhh life? Da da ada strawberry lips..." (ha ha).

I also spend R14k on furniture for my new house, EISH, crap costs a LOT! AAGGGHHH

Adios, I am spending the day in thought about, why I feel the way I do about GF.


Wednesday, February 20, 2008


SA SURFING AWARDS: LEGENDS OF SA SURFING - My mentor Spider Murphy is far left,the nicest guy in the world!
Apologise about the delay in posting, but have been on BizNuSS. Not that anyone reads this crap, a nice thought though.

So a little re-cap, more for myself...I had the best worst w/end in a long-time, Saturday was spent immersed in the vigour’s of life, I was in a surf contest all day and at night the Surfing awards of SA. Surfers (and this is a no brainer) are really out-towardly STOOPID, the speeches by the dignitaries were awesome, steeped in emotion, predictions and keens to see the surfing industry thrive in our current economic situations. Oh, I also believe that SURFERS are the most optimistic about us SAFFA's in SAFFERING economic climate (he he). The winners speaches on the other hand were hilarious, passionate but not articulate in any way, and the sterotype surfer vibe came out, I cringed, but was super proud of SA Surfing and the Surfers:

Winner # 1: Aaaggghh, shot heeey, sheez, this is like a surfing oscar, so thanks for the Ozzie. Thanks to my sponsors, family and chick heeey. Cool, shot bru.

Winner # 2: (This guy was fired up!) This is Fucking GREAT! YEAH, this is for all the dudes that push the limits!!! Surfing is a lifestyle, we need to push it. LETS PARTY (someone runs up on stage with a bottle of tequila, and they slug it!!). South Africa, has the best waves ever, FUCK, ride them man. We flying the flag of SA, YEAH!! LETS PARTY...(slugs some more tequila).

And so forth, surfers dont wax lyrical, but thats what makes us cool (i think).

We got drunk, had good times. (dum dum duuuuum [hum that])


GF and wake up, she says she wants me to teach her to surf, I understand the perils of this, as every lesson with Ex's has been a disaster. I explained this, will she like looking like a drowned rat, getting dunked, having a fiber-glass missile targeting her noggin'.

GF: Yes, bum (she calls me this), I want to do it for you (Oh FUCK I thought, we are going to fight today!!! AAAGGHHH) [but i gave her the benefit of the doubt because she is so cool about so much of my crap]

Off to the beach we go, unload set up camp, its a beautiful day, the wind is blowing a tad. We get into the water, and I tell GF, that I just want to push her onto a few waves for her to get use to the feel of the baord moving underneath her.

WAVE # 1: She falls off, face plants into the sand, board wacks her head. She laughs nervously...what a cute thing.
WAVE # 2: Catch wave, waves wacks her off board, rolled under water, she comes up spluttering, she glares at me, says something under her breath, I laugh, slap her heiny (not a good thing I head later)
WAVE # 3:Walking out to catch wave 3, wave wacks her again, she goes down, I throw board, to grap her, board drifts into her line of water, she pushed off bottom to shoot up to surface, said baord in way, WACK head hits board.

GF, is now spitting mad, and rushes into saftey of land, where a boat crew of lifesaver are launching a old lifesaving rowboat, and nearly collide with her. SHE FREAKS!!! I get it in the neck that I did not educate her enough about the sea, and this dumb sport. I tried to tell het that I did (dont argue back with a crazed woman - not a good idea). Well we fought all day, broke up, yes BROKE UP (for 1 hour). We rushed off in our cars, swearing under our breath, AAAGGGGHHHH. 3 hours later we met up, made up, and MADE UP, AND MADE UP.

what a weekend. Monday & Tuesday have been in CT for work, saw an old mate on Monday night, had sushi (its crazy expensive in CT, and thats where Tuna comes from - BASTARDS!), then had some brewski's on the street in Kloof street. Was a great night.


Some more shots of the SA Surfing awards.


Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Love is a noun and a verb did you know this? Check out the definition of love, according to the DICKtionary:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. (Uh HuH)
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. (check)
3. sexual passion or desire. (CHECK CHECK!!!)
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. (Hmm weak, but ok)
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love? (So ENGLISH!!)
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. (MMMMM)
7. sexual intercourse; copulation. (CHECKITTY CHECK)

Yup, so the above is what I am meant to be feeling today, and I do, I love GF with all the intensity and sloppy feelings that I can muster in my manly frame. The only thing that grates the crap out of me, is the fact that I am forced to feel like this becuase of a marketing generated play (started by cardies by the way...), in order to sell more crap. I mean I a am suffering from the hangover from GF's birthday, and now this, BUT it is a hit that I must endure, I love this woman, and I love spoiling her. So if social convention dictates that I must do this, I shall, and with a smile on my face as I shell out the moola.

If you thinking that I am a cheapskate, beacause I am bitching about the money aspect, its not! It is the over obsessive sociol fascination with LOVE, it has been hyped up, just so that we can laugh when it breaks down...OK OK, I spinning out of control. I will tell you why:

This morning, I woke up and fetched GF's pressie from my car, I suck back in and woke her up by gently (shaking her to death) waking (shouting WAKE UP) in her up. We exchanged gifts, smooched, stared and repeatedly said "LOve you, love you, love you etc". So I drive to work all chilled out and loved up (oh, I got a picture frame with us in, I know it souds kitch, but this one is really cool). I then run into a work collegue that FUCKED everything up!

She bangs her gums about how crap having kids are, getting married, all she got from her hubby was a mug, she carried on, whilst I politely said "yes, thats nice" (all the while trying to pretend to work so she would PISS OFF BITCH). She carried on with some classics like: "I think all of these things (marriage, kids and eternal happiness) is a nightmare" & "when I was your age, I was sitting at a pub drinking away and now since I got married and had kids my life is finished" HOLY CRAP SHE IS ONLY 2 YEARS OLDER THAN this depressed person has mulled my V-Day and smoked it in her negative karma inducing bullocks.

I am holding out that I will get the felling back.

$5 Love you long time!

I feel like a lap dancing, genital hanging out-ing prostitute. My loyal nature has me in a pickle. A quick re-cap, I resigned from my current employer that has been a gem, although due to self motivation, preservation and a need to increase in this fat F*cking rat race, I want more money, as well as career where I can see a future. Successful careers are needed to create wealth in order to support those close to you, or you can be a hedonistic asshole and use it for drugs, sex and fast cars, I know some of my friends who are assholes...I am jealous some times.

So, I resigned, current big dick boss freaked! I take that as a compliment, the new co. was stoked, NOW (oh this makes me MAD), my current co. wants me to stay, they have expressed their need for me to stay, appealed to my loyal nature, all the achievements won with sweat and hard work, they say things like "will the next co. treat me as well"...blah blah blah, CRAP. They want me to stay, so that I can generate more money, because I am cheap.

Let me wrap my head around this for a mo, just because I sent an ultimatum to current co., only now do they want to give me money, shares, love, a blowjob. Why does, it take putting a gun to someone’s head to get any frekin honesty!

Well, I can tell you this, I am going to pimp what I got to the highest bidder.

Leave the money on the counter stand, what’s your pleasure!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Stick it to the man

"Fight the good fight"

The fireman have managed to get a hold on the blaze that was my life yesterday, the kitten was saved from the tree and the mother got her baby back from the blaze of Sunrise's life!

After i trudged home, feeling all the pity and self loathing that the world could dump on me yesterday, I walked into GF's apartment, and waiting for me was pizza, presents, ice-cream and more importantly an ear to here all about IT. What a champ!

We lay in bed, ate pizza, ice-cream, watched Greys. Nice to know that your woe's can be shared by those near and dear. The final touch to turning the other cheek against my oppressor, was hitting the surf early this morning, it shook all the cobwebs off, and I am me again, I understand the emotions involved in yesterdays dramz. It just sucked, but lets move on.

Stick it too the man.


"Something lost, something found"

Today has been a tragedy, I am gutted. I resigned today, and spoke to Mr. Big Cheez, and I was taken on an emotional roller coaster. Examples of some of Big Cheez's cutting remarks:

"I treated you like a brother, how could you do this to me" AND "You making a big mistake, going to XYZ co., we about to take off and you not going to share in the profits" and the worst: "I am so disappointed in you". AAAGGGGHHH, feel like I have killed a kitten.

What he does not understand is that I have to move on, for me! I have stayed on longer than I should have, for loyalties sake. How can you make people understand? I think that we are all selfish in our own way:

Big Cheez for not wanting to see me go, because I do all his work and now he has to train someone new up, and this will disturb the flow in the org.

Me, for wanting to move on and up in my career.

Looking at the big picture, life is easy, why does emotion mess with it!

1. A dramatic composition, often in verse, dealing with a serious or sombre theme, typically that of a great person destined through a flaw of character or conflict with some overpowering force, as fate or society, to downfall or destruction.

2. The branch of the drama that is concerned with this form of composition

Sunday, February 10, 2008



A monumental day, I have to chat to my boss about leaving him & the co. that I have served for 3 years. The guy has been my mentor for that time, and now I feel so BAD leaving the guy in the dwang. But I gotta do what I gotta do, I have outgrown my position and would be going backwards personally if I stay, it so sad, so damn sad! But Happy SO Happy and excited, CHANGE IS A GOOD THING!

I will reveal all, after I have spoken to the Big Guy.

The place that I am going to is a position that I have been yearning for since a kid, I used to doodle in my books of the different brands that I used to admire. Now I am going into the position that I have always wanted to be in. I cant believe it.

I am ready
I am relaxed
I am confident

Here goes, goingto chat to Mr Big (my mentor).

Friday, February 8, 2008

WHOA, what a night, I am a happy camper! GF and I burnt the midnigt oil, beautifully loved up, and to top it all off the SEXPO has CUM to durban. I am going to be shattered after this weekend. YAY! Clap your hands for free thinking and beautiful GF...I hope this glow lasts.

Good swell in town too, so surf, smooch GF and eat. Thats the plan, MAN, HAPPY DAYS!

So, just need to get through this crappy day at work! It moves so SLLOOOWWW...

I just dont want that dude, Prickasso painting my angel, with his member, too wierd.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


SO the gift for GF's birthday was a hit, I am prouder than a trainer of the winning filly at the DBN July! I bought:

A picture frame with a wire thing inside, with clips to hang photo's etc in, I filled the inside of the frame with old retro postcards that I found in a small funky store in Glenwood DBN. She flipped, I am gonna get so LUCKY!! WOOP WOOP!!! THATS NOT ALL FOLKS, she also got a Guess wallet that she has been eyeing for a while.

Scheepers creepers, I think I set the bar a tad high, I FELT DAMN GOOD THOUGH!

She is a lawyer so I hope that gets to chill today safe in the thought that she has been spoilt rotten, and that loadshedding/SA's crime/DBN's heat waves/or any other of Dirtbins idiosyncrasies steer damn well clear of GF today, its her day so she should be FLIPPIN' POPULAR (say with Afrikaans twang to it, its my coolest word lately!)!

I cant wait for tonight, MMM MMM MMM...

HA ha, I feel quite the opposite about my little Lawyer poopsie, freaking funny though!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


Dont you just want to shit yourself at some of these!

Pressie Woe's

Its GF's birthday tomorrow, and I have been scouring the stores that DBN has to offer, you cant just give your girl any ol' thing, you need to be subjected to a criteria that you get judged on:

1) Thought-a-bility
2) Use-a-bility
3) Money-spent-a-bility

And the clincher! Can all her mates: 4) AWWW and OOOOO over it

I think I have played out my boots (I hope)Will I get lucky :), or not :(

OK the nod from her is uber important, although her family is big into gifting, imagine the faux pau if I muck this up?? INSTANT GRIEF FROM PAPA, have you seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (MBFGW), imagine a family similar to this, its awesome, just DONT mess with em! So this little Welsh kid is going to be in the same scenarios IAAAN MIIILLER (see MBFGW).

Schucks, I am putting major pressure on myself, just chill big guy, its all going to be OK!

Monday, February 4, 2008

People are People so what do we do...(Depeche Mode mmm mmm mmm)

So people are crazy bitches all o' them, I went cruising down the siff coast (there are some dodgy looking Mofo's down that coast) with GF, my mate Packet Poo and his girl. We surfed ourself silly, I mean, Saturday, I was up and into the surf at 5am, the birds were still chilling in their nests.

So we get to our surf spot, and Packet Poo, is jumping up and down like a Russian Dancer doing that stupid cross your arm dance:

Sunrise: Hey WTF are you doing?

Poo: Dude, I gotta crap!!

Sunrise: Why didnt you go when we left!?

Poo: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

Poo proceeds to grab a packet from the car, sqaut next to the car and let his bowels deplete into the bag, and then nonchnontly walks to the bin and tosses it inside (I feel sorry for the mack daddy that is going to look for food in that bin, as do some of our SA population).

WOW!! What a start to the day, we scored some cooking surf, 3 1/2 hours later we came out with spaghetti arms and huge smiles on our dials. MAN a good surf cleans out your snot box and makes you feel like Mogli the little jungle boy (la la la forget about your worries and your strife, la la la).

Wicked day, but that that poo in a packet thing threw me a bit...looking back why has poo played a role in my life lately?


Friday, February 1, 2008

Tribute Bands Rule!!!!

Why these people do what they do is beyond me...

What is with the metro-ness of guys going to all new levels, I saw pics of Pete Dorkfuck (Kate Moss's Ex) scoring this nerdy emo looking dude, quite sad really. Where have all the Teesav, sand kicking brutes gone, I mean there must be something in the water, when all these soft emotional understanding wets wearing pink golfers roll around like willing dildo's.

I am over wankers that provide emotional banter of a demeaning nature just becuase it makes them feel better. Be a man, be yourself, just chill out and take a person at face value. If you are an emotional wanker then be one, just dont be one because its in vogue.

But then again, WTF am I doing reading about the homo ways of Pete DorkFuck I here you say...

Anyhoo its Friday, I am off to the Siff Coast of KZN to catch some pearler curlers.

See you in the green room MOFO'S!