Sunday, November 30, 2008

Friday morning began with another ball bag headache deluxe, I don’t know why Gareth Cliff advocates Pooza Thursday it’s the dumbest freaking thing ever! You just feel like dog shit on all Friday and then feel the need to chase the hair of the dog post work, as half my mates only work half day on Friday (cause we live in Durban and people here only work Mon – Thurs). I unfortunately work full day Friday, maybe I can take my case to the CCMA?

Friday night I hit up Thunder Road a great little rock bar in Florida Rd, and unexpectedly caught a live act, The Banks, we sat down and the lead signers mum was sitting next to us and we struck up a convo with the ol’ bat, and we were forced to not only watch her offspring sing and gyrate but hoot like hell, we were the # 1 groupies. No a bad band, had a couple of toots, and went home, I needed to safe myself for Crazy Legs Barbel fishing contest the next day, hell yeah.


Started bad, headache, fat hairy friend lying on lounge floor naked, I had to pack in a rush as Pharo was meeting us at a mates place in 30 minutes, so I packed everything that I didn’t need, ha ha ha, a jersey, one shoe (thank gawd I was wearing my slops), a hat, towel and a wrist band (WTF). So I waited on the road for Pharo, and I waited, and I waited…so I phone: “Hey you sexy custard pudding, where you?”, Pharo: “aaghhh, what, huh, aaaaghhhh, I am still sleeping what time is it” – What she fell asleep, she rushed over 2 hours late. Oh doet balls, eventually we got up to Camperdown to the Crazy Legs Barbel Fishing competition, with the following (after a few stops):

Food (important)
Rods (important for the competition)
Booze (the most important thing in the world)
My bony

I was so amped to catch me a whiskey mud flapper, I downed a beer, got Kalvin to trace me up and then I hit that dam, cast my line in the boiling heat, set up my coolie with grogs next to me and set myself up for hours of successful fishing….I caught jack SHIT! But drank and danced for the first freaking team.

The dance floor was the place to be, Dinks tried to do a dirty dancing move where Patrick Swayze lifts Baby into the air, although Dinks was lifted into a moving Fan, so she had got scalped by the high speed propeller, there was literally blood on the dance floor. Carnage ensued:

Dancing, doing my throw the dice, pick em up and throw em again – killa move’s
Fishing in the squalls of rain
Ummm a lot more happened I think, but I cant remember

I think if you were sober at this thing, you would have had the funniest show in the world, fuck we were off our tits drunk, good fun, I think.

The winning barbell by the way was a 4.2kg baby, caught by the only guy that took the event seriously didn’t drink and sat by his rod all night, it was caught and weighed at 2:34am – dick! He should have been disqualified for not drinking.

I went riding on Sunday arvo with Sid the Sloth, up the mountains that was great!

Then I smashed my couch, hard, very hard.


Friday, November 28, 2008

Freaking radical, I am taking a half day today and going to the stores to buy the following:

1 x portion of chicken livers
2 x fishing rods
1 x bag of big hooks
2 x small seat thingies to sit on

You see I have entered myself and Pharo into the Annual Crazy Legs Barbel Fishing Contest, where you pay an entrance fee, drink yourself into oblivion whilst trying to catch the biggest barbel, which are donated to farm staff, who for some reason love eating the tassle stinking fish. Huh

Wow, that last post was hectic, I must say I didnt expect it to bug me so much, but I find myself deep in thought about the scenario of Stix, about the what if's and the many people could have been perfect for you. I dunno, maybe Chantelle Rut in class 2 was the belter for me.

i cant wait to go away this weekend for the Cray Legs, will be awesome to get away from the festering corporate cool cats and just be myself with Pharo and all my close mates.

Have a good one!


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I was going to write today’s blag about my passive aggressive roomie Red, he drives me fucking up the wall, but he is cool...although after reading Spindrifting SA's blog today, I thought I would tell you about one of the biggest regrets of my life:

In 2003 I had moved into a digs in Durban North, with 3 of my oldest pals, it was our first night in the new place, and we hear a knock on the door, a mate and I were wrestling on the floor and this beautiful woman walks in and asks for Sunrise, "huh, me", Stix was dropping off a camera for work that I had to do for a youth trend forecasting company called Instant Grass. I look up from the WWF hold that I was in and said "aagghhh that’s me..."

Stix and I ended up chatting a bit about work, then more personal stuff and then just talking, those talks that just blow you away, we clicked like an atomic bomb, she was beautiful in the most sexy way, she was crazy just like I love that crazy that I like, and unique, definitely unique, which is so rare.

Eventually we had the beanbags out on the lawn, smoked a joint and stared at the stars, we kissed and she stayed over, it was one of those "is this really happening moments, pinch yourself"

We continued to see each other and it grew into a relationship, I was whipped to the max. She asked me a question one night: "Did you sleep with Jube before me (a mutual friend)", I said "No (I lied - on the premise that I did not want her to think bad of me, the worst mistake {seriously} I have ever made of my life)". Life carried on in my blissful loved up state, until I got the phone call that ruined me for a while:

Stix: I am at a Braai with Jube, and she just commented that you and her did sleep together, why did you lie

Sunrise: aaghhh, cause I love you and didn’t want you to think bad of me at that stage of knowing you, I am sorry, it was before I met you, I am sorry.

Stix: You lied, I cant trust you...(after a long time) Its over

I was devastated, I truly thought I was going to marry Stix, we continued to be friends (good friends) post the break up, and I continued to be hopelessly in love with her, even watching her date douchbags. It was the hardest thing I have had to endure, part of me still loves her, she is happy and in love, and I am stoked for her. When you lie, you fuck everything up.

That is my biggest regret, losing love.


Monday, November 24, 2008

I feel like the bottom of the porridge pot today, just the norm for Monday. But a sweet weekend of surprising (and some funny) events.

we met up with mates for Friday night sushi and all night drinking at the local, and watched Red trying to pick up this belter FHM model, hell that was like watching a fat kid on a diet being gagged whilst a triple decker bar one cake was suspended in front of his face, so much effort but so unavailable. We kept the cream soda industry afloat that night; the JD's were flowing hard, seriously hard.

Saturday, I loaded my bony and headed out to Cato Manor Track, I met Jamo and the crew and rode my dirtbike like a machine, a couple of wipeouts but its feeling good, I reckon I am getting the hang of the feel of the bike how to move it, this is a cool sideline sport. Although... its fucken expensive, a grand here, a grand there for seals and forks, fuck, shit. Dirt bike riders are a bunch of red necks, cool ones though, but still Reddies, rough boys, but honest. The girls that follow this crowd though a tramp stamp deluxe, yeah!

Sat night, we hit the local again, drinking away, chatitty chat chat, and next thing we hear 10 cop vans screaming up Florida rd, and stop outside Wonderlounge (a strip club), which is situated 20m from Billy the Bumz, these coppers, bailed out in military precision brandishing weapons and whole heap of weaponry shit, only to beat down a dude who had hit an off duty cop, who then called his buddies to back him up. The dude that klapped the pussy cop, got bailed into a cop van and hauled off to no doubt a serious beating. But the amount of SAPS support was too funny the whole of Billyz was cat calling and booing the cops for there stupid show of support, for a pervy, nerdy coppa.

check out the SAPS's code of conduct, what a crock of bullony:

commit myself to creating a safe and secure environment for all people
in South Africa by –

participating in endeavours aimed at addressing the causes of crime;
preventing all acts which may threaten the safety or security of any community; and
investigating criminal conduct which endangers the safety or security of the community
and bringing the perpetrators to justice.

I really am beginning to think that surrounding yourself with positive people really do result in positive actions. Things are looking up, Pharo is still so radical, I need some waves though, that would be cool, so I reckon I am going to ask fate for that.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Email from Pharo.

Hi Sunrise

Was wondering how you’re feeling today. I know you get a hangover on the fumes of beer so if you stopped at Billy’s you’ll no doubt be feeling it.

I was so late today, just got in. Took forever to pack then still had to drop the food off with the guy I told you about.

Let’s hope today va va vooms.

See you later alligator


I failed at Sovember

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Yup, I know I surf early every single morning, I know that the wave's have been crap for the last 2 months, I know that I am a bad/stupid morning person...but there is no need to blunder like I did this morning.

Walking down the North Beach Pier, I was chatting to Big Dawg:

Sunrise: "Fuck this for fun, the wave is poo, I could have been lying in bed next to Pharo, all warm and snuggly hoping for a HOWS YOUR FATHER, instead I am in the rain going for a surf in KAK conditions"

Big Dawg: "I think..."

Pharo's Father: "No really I am glad you came down, a brisk swim will do you good"

Sunrise: "Hii Hiii, ummmmm, Hi Mr. Pharo, ummmmm, agggghhhh"

Yup, Mr. Pharo decided to come down for an early morning swim, and walk behind me, whilst I chatted about his beautiful daughter, whom I am exceptionally fond of, bless her tight buttocks. What a cock up, although that breaks the ice for any other cock ups.

Pharo the champ that she is, thought it a gas, while glad one of us does, so know the fam knows that we shtoping each other, grand. Her response was: "Sunrise you 30, I am 27, what do they think we do when I stay over?" You little biscuit.



Monday, November 17, 2008

A hangover (veisalgia) describes the sum of my wonderfully unpleasant physiological effects following another exceptionally heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages on Saturday.

Friday was a non-event because I was hanging from Thursday’s binge, although our boss did feel the need to run his own “amazing race” event, which had me driving around Dirtbin, looking for stupid fucking clues, whilst Charro (my good colleague) was reading the wrong clues, thus chasing the wrong clues, fucken ‘ell it was the last thing I really wanted to do on a Friday arvo…really, did the boss not stop to think and consider how sacred a Friday is, if you want to bond with your employees do it during your time, like Monday through to Friday 8am-5pm, not 5pm Friday…fuckitfuckitfuckit fuckwit!

After which the couch attacked me, and kept me hostage the rest of Friday eve, whilst Harrison Ford lumped his old ass looking for a crystal skull, what a lame movie.

Due to me hanging out Shia Lebouf and Harrison Ford on Friday night I was amped for a shit off early start on Sat, so I dragged Pharo out of bed at 5:30, and we sped to the beach. Red joined us for Breaky on top of Durban Surf Lifesaving club and we chin wagged about general nonsense, then a random dude just joined our table, its that kinda restaurant locals and all that where everyone knows everyone and tables are joined or taken over, and its cool, but this dude asked if he could sit on the end of our table and drink a coffee, no worries dude go right ahead, just don’t fucken take over our conversation you opinionated ass. Hate that…this weekend wasn’t going in the right direction…then…

Red invited me to a pool party, I went I fell in love, this was real love, the love that only happens once in a lifetime, her name was Peace, and she was beautiful, I thought about running away with her, I asked her if I could, she said no, I almost cried, Hold on, I did cry. She was only R5k a month, beautifully shabby and on the beach, I mean on the beach.

Peace cottage is the most beautiful beach cottage that some mates rent from an old money family, they have decked the place out with the bare essentials of beach living, surf ski’s, surf boards , dive equipment, half a drum for a braai, outside bar, inflatable pool, and an garden of milkwood trees that lead onto a private beach. Well I settled in for the day, drinking, eating watching CRAP rugby, and getting more drunk – I was lord of the bar, and once the John Deers started flowing I was tickets. The blurr set in after we hit Hops & Barley, some dude try to smooch Pharo, I lunged at him in slow motion, with a growl that echoed in my head. I ended up buying him a beer and by the end of the evening (at Harveyz)I think he was my brother for life, the kind of “brother from another mother” kind of drunken murmurings. I danced the four feet monkey shuffle showing the young ones how to throw some tail…oh and i kept asking this mean looking dude to slap me, cause I needed to get slapped sober. agghhh, why?

To my detriment (damn), the world did not end during the night, and I had to deal with my hangover (again) on Sunday, I chilled hard, so hard that I am still dealing with it now…

Sovember here I come, from now till the end.


Friday, November 14, 2008

This gangbanger went downtown last night...

So I am hanging like a pimpin' snoop dog today, hell I was getting a serious case cabin fever, so I hit the town. Billyz in Florida Rd is the high times for vagina loving men and dick loving older ladies; it’s a unadalterated orgy house, what fun! I caught up with old mates, whilst swilling beer and vodies, agh the good stuff.

It was good to feel the ol'' loose Sunrise rise from the ashes, the liquor inflamed talk, the machismo of Dutch courage, the thoughts of you having JT's dancing skillZ and Enrique iglesias's silver tongue.

Life is definitely oh contrary in the morning, my feet feel like Hager the horrible, my head like Tom Cruise after a scientology meet, my tongue like I have licked a urinal with stompies in...and and and. Pharo thought it hilarious when I went to the beach for my morning surf, with no towel, no boardies, I was a freaky mess. Good times...

Nonetheless, I will be in a surf mag, fuck yeah.

WTF, heard a song with these lyrics, and I loved it - lyrics are a bit out there, but hell (Band: Peaches):

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
Callin me, all the time like blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches,
What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?

huh? right. what? uhh.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.


Thursday, November 13, 2008

So busy today, agghh, some good news though, I have been told that I will be featured in a surf mag, Radical!

This weekend is turning into a fiasco of plans, people are making em, breaking em and re-making them.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Its the small things that make you happy, last night, I (Pharo did it all, but "I" added the tomato) made dinner, and in the process Pharo and I got to hang out and chill, chat and laugh, we just laughed about dorky stupid shit, that’s the important thing.

Pharo has a phobia about tomato's, she can’t touch them, smell them or go near them and I put them into her salad, damn. That's a weird phobia, but according to Pharo it’s quite a common one, she says its one of the most common phobias. I will have to google/wikipedia that shit, so I guess my ambition to attend the Spanish Tomato festival is out.

With all sorted we ate the most awesome meal, dating Pharo is gonna make me FAT, shit that woman can cook like the Greek Gods of Great Cooking, Nigela can stick a spoon of choco up her snot box, cause Pharo will whip the pants off her in cooking dept. Hell Yeah!

I am in the trenches at work and pulling out all the stops to get under the skin of all the portfolio's that I have been given with absolutely no guidance. I really respect my boss, he is the best at what he does, but infuriatingly gives you work that for him is piss easy (because he has 30 years experience and knows everyone under the sun, including dead people), but doesn’t seem to tell me how to execute it, so like a good Easter egg hunt I figure that shit out, yo. Some I get right, some I get wrong, but I learn...a little too vertically at this stage, but this will all come to an end next year. I respect him, so I want to do good for him, even if I don’t want to be here...


Monday, November 10, 2008

I have been tagged by the her sexiness narrative dancing in tragedy, like me a cockroach full of left legs, turning and spinning, mouthing the words in rhythmic harmony to nothing, but loving all of it, shit sakes that’s all off the subject. DT tagged me in this “what’s in my head thing”, OK:

Word for the week in my head...
Yakuzi – for Jaccuzzi after the weekend aaannndddd STEAM, cause you can look steamy, steam someone, steamroll someone, a heap of shit can be used with steam…now that was steamy.
Thought for the week in my head...
My bond is gonna be huge and it’s stressing me out.
Thing for the week in my life...
I don’t really want to go riding this coming weekend in Dundee (where things go to DIE), but I have committed.
Song for the week in my head...
Was digging some old school Metallica on the way back from Underberg, jammed and sang along…Forgiven – classic!
Food for the week in my belly...
Spiga D’ora Mafioso, mmm
Colour for the week in my life...
white, and yellow…I dunno
Smile for the week on my face...
I had such awesome naughties this weekend, makes me smile thinking about it.
Blessing for the week in my heart…
I am able bodied and use every part of me, I just appreciate having full use of my body, I still see that paralyzed dude and give him rides to his work when I can, gives me SUCH perspective…and stoked that Pharo is super positive and has affected me, she is so freaking cool!


Sunday, November 9, 2008

What a beautiful day, in the city of Dirtbin it’s a stunnA today.

Do you have rituals when you wake up? I always worry that if I get out of bed on left side of my bed that I will have a bad day, I tried it twice and on both occasions I had horror days, absolute shiteous days. No more my friends, now I am a get-out-right-side kinda guy!

I went with Pharo and her jet set connections to Underberg for the w/end, it pissed like Noah was building an ark on the front lawn, but the crowd was a freaking blast, we created our own warmth by skulling wine by the litre!

We rented a place, if I could imagine the perfect Berg cottage with all the creature comforts but still have the charm of a cottage and user friendly enough to allow you to "put your feet on the furniture” then this is the place, it had the following:

Jacuzzi (the YaKuz)
Open plan kitchen - with lounge and fire place (big one)
Upstairs lounge
DSTV for the rugga - BUggA
Loads of fridge space for the booze, oh ya for the food too.
Two or three en suit bathrooms
Another room with bunk beds etc (Sleeps 8 comfortably)
Beautiful deck, with mind-blowing freaking views of rolling mountains

So that set the scene when I arrived, but because I am a hyperactive douchbag, I had to bring my dirtbike, I am new to this sport and its the first time that I did not have any support in this regard, but thought, hey, I am in Underberg, it would be killa to ride, cause I hate hiking.

Imagine this, I get up, get dressed in the ridiculous kit that you need to ride in, stomp through the crew, the jeered comments (in good nature) that I looked like Robo-cop (I did), get on the bike, hoping to make a memorable wheel spin, to show them what I man I am (cause only true men wheel spin), I start the bike, only to have a stuttering cough in response, I try again, same result (what do they say about stupidity, trying the same thing hoping to expect a different result...ya me, exhibit A = stupid). Everyone comes outside to see Robo-Cop, trying to figure out what’s wrong...I try push starting the bike, only to almost vomit from the exertion. Final effort was loading the bike back onto the van, getting undressed, stupid sport! I need to figure out what I did wrong...

Nevertheless we ate like kings, talked a WHOLE bunch of smack whilst a fire roared, made loads of great food, and continued to down wine and champagne in the YakuZZZ , in the rain, FREAKING AWESOME!

Sunday cleared, and we walked to Giants Castle 3 pools, jumped in ice cold pools and had such a blast. A nice chilled alcohol fueled w/end, it was very cool meeting Pharo's mates, good motivated folk.

On my house issue front, it’s the week of paying my dues, I have to pay for transfer fees etc, OWCH, this gonna hurt, major. Cost of living and loving I suppose.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sheeez, did you watch Obama's acceptance speech this morning, hell steath, it gave me goose bumps..."Yes we can!"

So I mentioned that I have been carting international colleagues around like an overpaid driver, well I got to go the Aquarium yesterday and a dolphin show, I mean I have never been to one, very corny, but the damn dolphins seriously are beautiful, and looked like they enjoyed themselves, not sure if I could be put through the same paces like that 3 times a day, 7 days a week. I would get a tad bored, but they have a cushy life compared to their sea brethren! On that note Japanese spider crabs and stone fish are just freaking strange!

Last night I had to attend a birthday for one of my old School buddies birthdays, he was a wild child turned good, so I had to endure dinner with a bunch of happy clappies, wasn’t bad, i just let them know from very early on, that I follow Christian beliefs but if they try and manipulate me into a biblical conversation I would not stand for it. It was interesting anyway, we discussed how liberal everyone has become, and accepting and how its so un-Politically correct to spate general opinions, e.g. "Being Gay is wrong", but in our current socio-climate, you have to say, "I am not Gay, and don’t advocate it, but if you are, good for you." I dig liberalism, and all, but I am just so tired of watching what I say, although I support that we are in good times that people can be who they want to be. SHOOO, tired of this now!

Over the w/end I saw a show on DSTV called Sunset Tan, hell is that what America is all about, if it is, the world is FUCKED! Those people have lost the plot, completely!!!!!

Back at work earning my monthly salary.



Monday, November 3, 2008

Hooking that fish.

Apologize I didn’t post yesterday, I have been waylaid by international colleagues, I have been carting around colleagues from pillar to post, drinking cappuccinos by the liter and eating by the pound!

Nevertheless, the w/end was a chilled blast, the event didn’t go as planned (winning glory and getting the moola), but was very cool nonetheless! I did chat to some bizarre old dude, who informed me about the three P's of life:

1) Piece of chicken
2) Piece of Ass
3) Piece and quite

I was quite taken back at his 'Yoda' like intellect; he is the nostrodamus of our time, the guru of life, my mentor to be. WTF!!!

After that life lesson, I bronzed my bod, surfed my tits off, chatted to Phar (who supported me from the beach). I snuck into the surfing VIP tent and ate myself a new digestive system. That was my w/end really...

Don’t you love to hate over eager people, so I am at dinner last night and we were served by Leroy, a great Zimbabwean, he was so nervous (first time being a waiter), he cocked everything up, I MEAN EVERYTHING! He poured beer, so that it was all foam, brought fish cutlery for chicken, Soup spoon for steak, rice with steak (ordered chips), but all through this the Dude just smiled and thought he was doing a fab job, he was a blast. His mate obviously hooked him up with a job at MOYO (go there its the freaking awesome - food ok, vibe cool!), its his first time being a waiter, and he has only been in SA for 7 months, you gotta give a guy trying so hard a break, I did and gave him a monster tip, told the manager that he is the best waiter here and left the manager bemused, seriously bemused.

Taking a line from the shocking Mnet movie on Sunday evening, Acts of Random Kindness can change the world. I would like to think...

US elections, now that might change the world.