Monday, December 15, 2008

Roast your turkey this African Xmas

So I almost dehydrated in dirtbin on Sunday, Fuck Sake it was the hottest place on this earth, and I had to get dressed up in full battle gear and go riding around French Pigs farm in the blazing sun, I feinted. Yup in the bush, I feinted off my bony. Damn that’s so manly, so manly it makes me get an erection, exerting so much energy, in the wild, I feinted. Fuck the poor, I feel good!

So I read Pea’s post on 08, and I thought, hell that’s a smart chick, let me do the same, cause I knock off on Friday, mentally though I have already knocked off, you know, don’t really give a shit anymore!

So here goes, two thousand and eights dog nuts:

All in all, I wouldn’t go back and visit with ’08; I learnt a lot of lessons that I will definitely use going forward.

I started my blog
I had a girlfriend that I thought I was going to marry, so I bought a house with her, we started renovating the house and decided that it wasn’t good that we date, cause I was going to kill her otherwise, we broke up – Major fucking drama
She beat me up, I accepted the beating
She sued me; I sued back – Major fucking drama
I met Pharo, happy as a pig in poo
I bought my house lock stock, and feel proud!
I left one shitty overpaid job, to join another shitty overpaid job
I turned 30, had a major party drank for 3 days straight, that was a good ho down, shit balls!

So as you can see from the above that the actions were not off the charts cool, but the lessons learnt were way worth it (don’t put the cart before the horse in a relationship, small steps). I learnt who my true mates are, and I respect that immensely, I learnt that I am bad judge of character when it comes to woman, so I am dealing with that. Pharo and our relationship is how a relationship should be, I am not pinning any hopes, not planning anything, just going day by day, until….I dunno.

Merry merry and all that jazz, smoke a stogie, and rip open your gifts, I am going to be chilling on the beach in St Fanny reading a book and surfing my balls off (I bought myself a new surfboard for Xmas, hell yeah!)


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The real Queen, just saying.

Lets just say that if we were all normal, would this happen:

1) Watching an individual take a smoking hot Danish girl out on a dinner date with a bunch of friends and hooking up with another? (madness or genuis?)
2)Ripping one's shirt off at the pub bar and tying it into a bow around your midriff, and then act like a queen, I dunno?
3)Watching a hasbeen Rugby star trying to pick up your girl and enjoy watching him fail miserably.
4)Sticking your finger through your zipper and pretending its your willy, its only funny for about 2 minutes
5)Trying to sing opera, this is stupid
6)Doing the dice dance move
7)Trying to talk business (*DRUNK*) - not productive

All this and bunch more that always gets lost in the haze of mayhem, it is the silly season and silly things happen. The silliest of them all is going to be keeping your job in '09, thats what the papers say. Hell, may as well enjoy ourselves while we can.

The end

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Here's a tip to myself: you suck

Suck ass, huge freaking ass, Pharo is awesomeness all over, although, why do I find myself checking other fem fatal tail, and going mmm mmm mmm, i could chew on that!

As a man are we pre-programmed to check out the menu, and if the manager is not looking run off without paying the bill (e.g. fuck the brains out of your secretary). A timeless cliche the whole secretary bang, my dad did it and tore our family apart, am I destined to play the hokey pokey, even though I am in "love" with my siginifacnt other, I am just worried that igniting the lust will make me cross the tipping point of manogamy.

Girls its fucking hard for men to stay faithful, Pharo has a good example:

There is a line, at the two ends there is point A = Very High Sex drive and Point B = Very Low Sex Drive. By reason the guy at point A is more likely going to cheat, can he help it (I dunno), then you get point B dude, by reason again, he is more likely to not cheat due to his low sex drive (or be an egyptian unik). As men, when we enter relationships I believe that we dont want to cheat, we genuianly want to love and cherish our woman, although men (in general - this whole thing is very general) can screw just to screw, can woman?

Like a tickling wound, I have a high sex drive, thus I look at the bikini clad lass's but I dont execute an orgy scene with them, NOOOOO, NADDA, Nufink, fuck all, I look though, I am open about it,I tell Pharo "hell how's that ass" she laughs, but I let her know that her's is the only ass that I want (aagghhh how nice/cute/etc add nice words here....)

The point I am trying to make, is all men are horned up, we want to Ama Shova, its how we express it, execute it, convey it, and how honest are we about it. I am brutally honest about loving a shag, a healthy good one albiet.

Do you get me?


Friday, December 5, 2008

Feeling like this is cool

Is it possible to love without obsession, can we admire without screaming genius, fuck? Can we photograph a naked 16 year old belter without being swept up in riotous fervour?

Well my hot little meat ball Pharo is becoming quite special to me, I mean what the hell…I will say it out loud, I am quite an emotional little monkey, and whilst drunk last night I blurted to one of her crew that I might just L….u…rrrrrv that special little custard pudding, that hot tamalie. Like a big tit, a massive TIT TEE, I blurt shit out when ensconced in alcoholic substances, I would make a great drunk poet, or weird Japanese karaoke singer, either way.

Yeah, so I like the kid, yeah so I said something in a public forum, I just hope for all the crooked cops in SA that it doesn’t mess the cool vibe that we have going on.

Tonight I am gorging my face on as Sushi as only I can (to date my record is 12 plates at CTM) , great huh, my awesome as fuck splintered new half family is celebrating the birthday of my Dad’s Girlfriends knocked up 22 year daughter, lordy this has been one wired weird week, what with Mr. fucking Bones 2 an; all, now this…at least boozing helps to take off the edge, oh wait my Japanese karaoke split persona comes out.

There’s no hope.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Take me there...St Fanny

Don’t you love the fact that we are at work, but not really there, I mean I am here, sitting at my desk, but I am not here, not sitting at my desk.

I am 2 weeks away from beach, surf, loads of sleep, beers, Pharo, and whatever I damn well feel like doing, maybe

1) taking the whole morning to decide on the perfect sandwich to make
2) being so lazy that getting off the couch is an effort so you just let your coffee go cold (its only 2cm out of reach)
3) after beach luvin', with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
4) after surf luvin, with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
5) after lunch luvin', with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
6) really hanging out with my family and talking crap, that’s important
7) waking up and going for a naked jog.
8) waking up and going back to sleep
9) having a 1 hour poo with a good book
10) lots of braai's, beers, and laughter

thats where I am, not at work - 2 weeks away!

One of my mates is in the Mr. Bones 2 movie and I have to support him, so we going tonight, damn it too all hell, I have to sit through 2 hours of Mr. Bones - Gawd, grant me the fortitude to get through this!

Another thing that I have been trying to really focus on is relaxing, now I know that I am going to do fuckload of this in the holidays, but I am reading this book on how to improve your surfing, in it mentions that when you are stressed your whole body is fuck stiff and your groove goes all whak. Now generally I am stressed to the max, I am making a concerted effort to just slow down, read/listen properly, 'cause I always find myself rushing shit. Slow down and breath, keep it simple...thats my mantra going into '09, hopefully my surfing will improve with it?

keep it cool.