Tuesday, March 25, 2008

C'est la Vie!

Human life consists in mutual service. No grief, pain, misfortune, or "broken heart," is excuse for cutting off one's life while any power of service remains. But when all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.

I am sad as hell, walking in a cloud of smog, my Gran died this morning and my relationship is on the rocks. Life is rarely as we would like it to be rather it is exactly as it is. Today, I will remember my Gran. She was (hell its crap to use that term), a feisty old Gran, who cut to the bone when she spoke and was fiercely independent. She didn’t skirt around an issue and said it as it should be, shockily at time, hell I digged that.

I was with her on Easter Saturday and Monday, she was semi-lucid and skeletal thin, but still defiant as an arrogant king on the brink of losing his kingdom. She had no excuses, she had no regrets (that I knew of...), she wanted to go, she wanted to stop lying in bed, and she wanted to walk again. I hope she is happy, I loved her, I am glad I told her so before I left on Monday.

Birth, life, and death -- each takes a place on the hidden side of a leaf.

Rest in peace Gran, you will be missed.



DT said...

I am so sorry for your loss, you obviously had great respect and admiration for her, the passing of someone we love so dearly is a terrible thing to face!Look after yourself!

Sunrise Chip n' Cheez said...

Ta dt, shitty feeling. Its life, but all the same it sux!