I was going to write today’s blag about my passive aggressive roomie Red, he drives me fucking up the wall, but he is cool...although after reading Spindrifting SA's blog today, I thought I would tell you about one of the biggest regrets of my life:

In 2003 I had moved into a digs in Durban North, with 3 of my oldest pals, it was our first night in the new place, and we hear a knock on the door, a mate and I were wrestling on the floor and this beautiful woman walks in and asks for Sunrise, "huh, me", Stix was dropping off a camera for work that I had to do for a youth trend forecasting company called Instant Grass. I look up from the WWF hold that I was in and said "aagghhh that’s me..."

Stix and I ended up chatting a bit about work, then more personal stuff and then just talking, those talks that just blow you away, we clicked like an atomic bomb, she was beautiful in the most sexy way, she was crazy just like I love that crazy that I like, and unique, definitely unique, which is so rare.

Eventually we had the beanbags out on the lawn, smoked a joint and stared at the stars, we kissed and she stayed over, it was one of those "is this really happening moments, pinch yourself"

We continued to see each other and it grew into a relationship, I was whipped to the max. She asked me a question one night: "Did you sleep with Jube before me (a mutual friend)", I said "No (I lied - on the premise that I did not want her to think bad of me, the worst mistake {seriously} I have ever made of my life)". Life carried on in my blissful loved up state, until I got the phone call that ruined me for a while:

Stix: I am at a Braai with Jube, and she just commented that you and her did sleep together, why did you lie

Sunrise: aaghhh, cause I love you and didn’t want you to think bad of me at that stage of knowing you, I am sorry, it was before I met you, I am sorry.

Stix: You lied, I cant trust you...(after a long time) Its over

I was devastated, I truly thought I was going to marry Stix, we continued to be friends (good friends) post the break up, and I continued to be hopelessly in love with her, even watching her date douchbags. It was the hardest thing I have had to endure, part of me still loves her, she is happy and in love, and I am stoked for her. When you lie, you fuck everything up.

That is my biggest regret, losing love.

S.