Thursday, June 12, 2008
The inside of my head is every shade of black and blue. Tiny bruises dent the inside of my jelly cerebellum, I am tired, hanging and I am confused as hell, and it’s the best and worst I have felt.
Last night, leaving work after a shitty day, dodging the affairs, stiff smiles and fake cordialities "the office", GF phones and goes fucked up dilly about her crappy day. I am just coming down from the sensory assault of bitchy co-workers, and now have to deal with GF's issues....FUCK! All I wanted to do was go for an arvo surf, do some clean turns and let the saltwater wash away the grimace of the day’s face, so I cut her short:
"Babe, can I chat to you later over dinner, as I want to go for a surf... (Oh fuck, what did I do, the demon of hate was unleashed)"
We boxed like a crips vs. bloods gang war, was pretty spectacular, oh dear. Well, it had to fucken happen, we are heading to J-Bay, so may as well get the fight over with before we go, right?
I went home, vented my tits off to roomy, and felt bad for cutting her off, as I should have cared more, BUT it was just bad timing, as I could not deal with any more reality , my reality cup had runneth over, I just needed a break, a fucking break from life and shit. She phoned to vent/project/whine/bitch at a bad fucken time!!!
We made up, and we are going to J-Bay tomorrow, I hope the peace treaty lasts, final straws this relationship...sad, confused and hopeful.