Sunrise Chip n' Cheez

2009-01-28T23:36:00.000-08:00

So its been a bit slow my side, just killing time until I finish up my current employment. Dont you wish that when you resign you could just walk out, have a break re-energize before the next challenge.

So from next week, I am going to be in a little log cabin (next to a dam), learing the tricks of the timber trade, I cant wait. This is a massive opportunity to really become financially and time flexible. This is what I have been working towards (arnt we all).

So last night I had the most disturbing dream, where you wake up in the midst of an anxiety attack, thinking that its all real, I shat myself!

I dreamt that my ex called and said that she is 3 weeks preggers with my child, I decide that I will marry her for the sake of the child, only to figure out after the marriage that it couldnt be mine becuase I have been with Pharo for 6 months, so there is no way the shild is mine, I try an institute divorce proceedings but find that I cannot and I am stuck. Its the stuck part that sent me into a delerious anxiety, waking up trying to figure out if its real. Hell, I hate that, wonder if I should read into any of that shite?

Crazy days ahead.

2009-01-23T00:22:00.001-08:00

CHOPPER SAYS, "HARDEN THE FUCK UP!"

Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise. It seems like since I have resigned everyone has at least one hand wrapped around my progressive dick these days. The sorry that I am leaving and good times lost, or the realization they have to stay or do more work (bothers them) I dunno, but this wild willy is outta here next Friday, hell fucken yeah!

Now what does not suck jazz flautist balls is that I am going to be spending the entire month of February in a SMALL Natal farming town in a little fishing log cabin (I shit you not), I am going to be getting into the guts of my line of work, figuring it out from our clients side before I hit up my new line of work. Its going to be fucking rad, getting back to basics, away from the city bollocks, no more brands, no TV, no internet, just some good old khaki stock kinda people, a fishing rod and good manual labour will knock the pretentious city “behind a computer all day” metro-ness outta me and harden me the fuck up. I wont lie I am a bit nervous of what to expect, do I have to skull a bottle of cane, am I going to get pulled into the infamous wife swapping ceremonies that only small towns seem to have.

I dunno, but it’s all going to be new…

S.

2009-01-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

Madagascar Lemur, strange critters!
When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended solely for self-flagellation. Truman Capote

I have been really loving the time/s spent with Pharo, hell we get on like a forest fire. Why is it that in the act of loving you arm another person against you, when you start falling for someone you worry about comments made, subtlty and other little micro-goings on that you shouldnt be, do we look for problems because we shit scared of losing that person. Not that anything is wrong, everything couldnt be better, hell we planning a trip to Madagascar. To which I have already bought the tickets, yeah I blew my bolt a little too early on that one (honestly my travel agent misunderstood and just booked and paid on my credit card) - we leave on 9 April, cool huh. It has just given us something new to explore and talk about its been hellava fun!

A funny sight yesterday, Pharo and I go to her mates place to find out some info on Madagascar, as we discussing places to stay, what to expect, I hear the start of PreZ Obie's speech, I rush through to the TV room (in the mates house) to see a dude sleeping on the couch...I just thought how funny, one of the worlds most historic moments and the guy is sleeping. What does it mean, nothing, I just thought it was a funny sight in light of the moment. Good speech though, or did it sound like a bit of sermon to you?

S.

2009-01-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

Cant you just wait for Prez Obie One to hit the big time!

Friday night the delectable Pharo and I joined Marky Mark and Dork for a Cinema Nuevo flik at Gateway, now this is a hellava uncharacteristic thing for a Friday night, although due to the cash strapped nature of the this month, it’s the best we could do. Better than a kick in the teeth… We saw “Burn after reading”, now I enjoy a good arty movie, but this, woooa, was way out, was it a comedy, social satire, or just fucked up violence, those Cohen Bro’s must do some trippy liquid acid.

Saturday I slept through my first heat of KZN surfing champs, how, I have no freaking idea…it would dawn on me through a sordid little moment whilst rushing to the loo turtle necking whilst grinding my teeth, clinching with all my might. I got the dreaded tummy bug, I was so shattered after my bog time, and my second heat (which I won ) that I had to pull out of the competition, because my guts didn’t agree with me…timing or was it the Cohen brothers?

I went home and let Pharo hit the jol, I slept from 6pm – 9am on Sunday morning, to admin deluxe, my damn ass garden hose had burst, FUCK, 1 x plumber on a Sunday = R1000. RAD!

Then I hit Sloth’s house in Ballito to take it easseee, on the couch whilst playing some play station, talk smack with some of the other mates that came around for a lazy Sunday arvo.

Sloth’s house is so rad, it’s like a chill spot for all our mates; you just pitch up, set up camp and shill. He has all the gizmos and personality to just let it roll (including a hellava lot of other rolling). What a guy, his wife is also the nicest person in the world, and he is a financial advisor, one of the best, go figure!

So to the tummy bug, setting up camp in my guts, get the fuck out!

S

2009-01-15T23:22:00.000-08:00

Found this on Post Secret site, apt for today. Heavy though...sad too.

The surf has been pumping lately, last night I left the prison that I am (BLaaaKe....) incarcerated in during the hours of 8am-4:30pm, to find a perfect evening being painted, the heat and humidity had dropped off, the waves were lazy and super fun. I surfed for 2 hours, in my own vibe, ignoring the bad vibes from locals trying to hustle waves from all and sundry. I tell you, out in the water its whole different hierarchy of different personalities out there, some dudes are aggressive as fuck, some are chilled, some are whiny, some just know what they are doing and score all the sweet ones (I think I fall into this category). I was in my own world and had some smoking BOMBS!

I went in after having my fill and chatted some to some of the ol' locals, now these old mac daddies are over the hill old school dudes, and let me tell you, all they do is complain about SA, about this, about that. Its super important to stay up to date with the current political landscape (no matter how colorful it is), its important to have opinions, BUT for shitsakes, if you going to have an opinion, make sure its informed and not a freaking selfish brainfart, cause you little life is affected, have some perspective fucker! If it was a one off instance/person I could deal with it, no, no, NO, it’s every morning, afternoon and night, these guys just moan. I am sure it makes them happy, I mean it must...agh, they good guys, just old school, and I am afraid to say it, racist, and a little scared of change and the future.

To be honest I am scared to, that Malema dude frightens me with his militant demeanor. I am African, I am going nowhere at this stage. I am African, how cool is that, white boy from KZN...

Rant over, I took my new cabbie to show the old man, he was stoked, we went for a ride and shot the breeze, he sat in the captains chair and took the beast for a spin. Nice one, special little moment right there.

S.

2009-01-14T22:28:00.000-08:00

Hell its tough getting back into the work vibe, the political correctness of it all, the social ballet, the hours, the hierarchy...yadda yadda, blah. What’s so cool is that I don’t give a shit; I resigned first day back, and just need to handover and rock the fuck out of here, yeah! Still the hour’s drrraaaaaggggg on, huh....

Now, I have had another high after resigning (I know, how the fuck can you get higher), I got delivery of my new fuck big Van, it’s huge and can ride over shit. But it’s also huge and I can’t get into parkings, ha aha, hilarious! It’s going to take me time to get used to this beautiful beast of burden. Pharo reckons chick are going to be dropping there panties when I cruise past, in my 4 wheels of justice, Taxi's are going to drop their oil boxes at the site of me about to ram them off the road, aggh can life get sweeter (maybe if my work nemesis grew a wort on her face)?

That being said, shit, I just read The Blond Blogshells blog, and the poor custard pudding is going through the worst thing ever, breakup. I have had 3 or 4 mates break up over the Xmas/Summer period, Shitballs I feel for this peeps, its stressful that stuff, killa actually, not only dealing with work, life, money, now you gotta deal with part of your closest friend/lover/support system leaving you. So please a thought for BB and my mates that are going through this, cause I know all about it!

Keep rocking in a free world.

S.

2009-01-12T02:08:00.000-08:00

Holiday round up, wow its been such a long time since I have tapped away at a computer screen, that my typing skills have gone all pear shaped buggerd up...feels good though, I ddnt touch a computer for almost a month, giving my screen eyes time to focus on other shit.

I spent the bulk of the hol's at Cape St francis, Pharo and her folks were staying in swanky St. Francis bay on the beautiful canals. I have to admire the simple beauty and complexity of the canals in St. Francis, makes you feel trasported to a very different South Africa, one that is truly international.

I sat on the beach, surfed all day and chilled at night, and really only started drinking toward new years, well when I started, I spiralled into a beautiful mess, a fucking train wreck more likely, see evideance above!!

Highlights of my vac were the following:

Doing what I want when I want...always a plus.
Chilling with Pharo heeps, and hanging out with her family.
Chilling and meeting properly my new nucleur family.
Surfing my tits off.
Eating my tits off.
Catching a perfect day at JBay, OOOOO it was perfect, postcard perfect.
Getting so John Deered up on New Years eve, WOOO a big one!
Having my surfboard cut in half by a kook.
Crazy naughty sexy times whilst trying to avoid the folks...

And now, back at work, and I have just resigned, yes...right now, liberating as fuck! Now I have to wait it out, and then I will facing some new challenges like working with my old man, I am excited for this challenge!

S.

2008-12-15T05:54:00.000-08:00

Roast your turkey this African Xmas

So I almost dehydrated in dirtbin on Sunday, Fuck Sake it was the hottest place on this earth, and I had to get dressed up in full battle gear and go riding around French Pigs farm in the blazing sun, I feinted. Yup in the bush, I feinted off my bony. Damn that’s so manly, so manly it makes me get an erection, exerting so much energy, in the wild, I feinted. Fuck the poor, I feel good!

So I read Pea’s post on 08, and I thought, hell that’s a smart chick, let me do the same, cause I knock off on Friday, mentally though I have already knocked off, you know, don’t really give a shit anymore!

So here goes, two thousand and eights dog nuts:

All in all, I wouldn’t go back and visit with ’08; I learnt a lot of lessons that I will definitely use going forward.

I started my blog
I had a girlfriend that I thought I was going to marry, so I bought a house with her, we started renovating the house and decided that it wasn’t good that we date, cause I was going to kill her otherwise, we broke up – Major fucking drama
She beat me up, I accepted the beating
She sued me; I sued back – Major fucking drama
I met Pharo, happy as a pig in poo
I bought my house lock stock, and feel proud!
I left one shitty overpaid job, to join another shitty overpaid job
I turned 30, had a major party drank for 3 days straight, that was a good ho down, shit balls!

So as you can see from the above that the actions were not off the charts cool, but the lessons learnt were way worth it (don’t put the cart before the horse in a relationship, small steps). I learnt who my true mates are, and I respect that immensely, I learnt that I am bad judge of character when it comes to woman, so I am dealing with that. Pharo and our relationship is how a relationship should be, I am not pinning any hopes, not planning anything, just going day by day, until….I dunno.

Merry merry and all that jazz, smoke a stogie, and rip open your gifts, I am going to be chilling on the beach in St Fanny reading a book and surfing my balls off (I bought myself a new surfboard for Xmas, hell yeah!)

S.

2008-12-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

The real Queen, just saying.

Lets just say that if we were all normal, would this happen:

1) Watching an individual take a smoking hot Danish girl out on a dinner date with a bunch of friends and hooking up with another? (madness or genuis?)
2)Ripping one's shirt off at the pub bar and tying it into a bow around your midriff, and then act like a queen, I dunno?
3)Watching a hasbeen Rugby star trying to pick up your girl and enjoy watching him fail miserably.
4)Sticking your finger through your zipper and pretending its your willy, its only funny for about 2 minutes
5)Trying to sing opera, this is stupid
6)Doing the dice dance move
7)Trying to talk business (*DRUNK*) - not productive

All this and bunch more that always gets lost in the haze of mayhem, it is the silly season and silly things happen. The silliest of them all is going to be keeping your job in '09, thats what the papers say. Hell, may as well enjoy ourselves while we can.

The end

2008-12-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

Here's a tip to myself: you suck

Suck ass, huge freaking ass, Pharo is awesomeness all over, although, why do I find myself checking other fem fatal tail, and going mmm mmm mmm, i could chew on that!

As a man are we pre-programmed to check out the menu, and if the manager is not looking run off without paying the bill (e.g. fuck the brains out of your secretary). A timeless cliche the whole secretary bang, my dad did it and tore our family apart, am I destined to play the hokey pokey, even though I am in "love" with my siginifacnt other, I am just worried that igniting the lust will make me cross the tipping point of manogamy.

Girls its fucking hard for men to stay faithful, Pharo has a good example:

There is a line, at the two ends there is point A = Very High Sex drive and Point B = Very Low Sex Drive. By reason the guy at point A is more likely going to cheat, can he help it (I dunno), then you get point B dude, by reason again, he is more likely to not cheat due to his low sex drive (or be an egyptian unik). As men, when we enter relationships I believe that we dont want to cheat, we genuianly want to love and cherish our woman, although men (in general - this whole thing is very general) can screw just to screw, can woman?

Like a tickling wound, I have a high sex drive, thus I look at the bikini clad lass's but I dont execute an orgy scene with them, NOOOOO, NADDA, Nufink, fuck all, I look though, I am open about it,I tell Pharo "hell how's that ass" she laughs, but I let her know that her's is the only ass that I want (aagghhh how nice/cute/etc add nice words here....)

The point I am trying to make, is all men are horned up, we want to Ama Shova, its how we express it, execute it, convey it, and how honest are we about it. I am brutally honest about loving a shag, a healthy good one albiet.

Do you get me?

S.

2008-12-05T04:48:00.000-08:00

Feeling like this is cool

Is it possible to love without obsession, can we admire without screaming genius, fuck? Can we photograph a naked 16 year old belter without being swept up in riotous fervour?

Well my hot little meat ball Pharo is becoming quite special to me, I mean what the hell…I will say it out loud, I am quite an emotional little monkey, and whilst drunk last night I blurted to one of her crew that I might just L….u…rrrrrv that special little custard pudding, that hot tamalie. Like a big tit, a massive TIT TEE, I blurt shit out when ensconced in alcoholic substances, I would make a great drunk poet, or weird Japanese karaoke singer, either way.

Yeah, so I like the kid, yeah so I said something in a public forum, I just hope for all the crooked cops in SA that it doesn’t mess the cool vibe that we have going on.

Tonight I am gorging my face on as Sushi as only I can (to date my record is 12 plates at CTM) , great huh, my awesome as fuck splintered new half family is celebrating the birthday of my Dad’s Girlfriends knocked up 22 year daughter, lordy this has been one wired weird week, what with Mr. fucking Bones 2 an; all, now this…at least boozing helps to take off the edge, oh wait my Japanese karaoke split persona comes out.

There’s no hope.

S

2008-12-03T00:18:00.000-08:00

Take me there...St Fanny

Don’t you love the fact that we are at work, but not really there, I mean I am here, sitting at my desk, but I am not here, not sitting at my desk.

I am 2 weeks away from beach, surf, loads of sleep, beers, Pharo, and whatever I damn well feel like doing, maybe

1) taking the whole morning to decide on the perfect sandwich to make
2) being so lazy that getting off the couch is an effort so you just let your coffee go cold (its only 2cm out of reach)
3) after beach luvin', with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
4) after surf luvin, with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
5) after lunch luvin', with that salty, sunkissed feel aggghhh
6) really hanging out with my family and talking crap, that’s important
7) waking up and going for a naked jog.
8) waking up and going back to sleep
9) having a 1 hour poo with a good book
10) lots of braai's, beers, and laughter

thats where I am, not at work - 2 weeks away!

One of my mates is in the Mr. Bones 2 movie and I have to support him, so we going tonight, damn it too all hell, I have to sit through 2 hours of Mr. Bones - Gawd, grant me the fortitude to get through this!

Another thing that I have been trying to really focus on is relaxing, now I know that I am going to do fuckload of this in the holidays, but I am reading this book on how to improve your surfing, in it mentions that when you are stressed your whole body is fuck stiff and your groove goes all whak. Now generally I am stressed to the max, I am making a concerted effort to just slow down, read/listen properly, 'cause I always find myself rushing shit. Slow down and breath, keep it simple...thats my mantra going into '09, hopefully my surfing will improve with it?

keep it cool.

S.

2008-11-30T23:05:00.000-08:00

Friday morning began with another ball bag headache deluxe, I don’t know why Gareth Cliff advocates Pooza Thursday it’s the dumbest freaking thing ever! You just feel like dog shit on all Friday and then feel the need to chase the hair of the dog post work, as half my mates only work half day on Friday (cause we live in Durban and people here only work Mon – Thurs). I unfortunately work full day Friday, maybe I can take my case to the CCMA?

Friday night I hit up Thunder Road a great little rock bar in Florida Rd, and unexpectedly caught a live act, The Banks, we sat down and the lead signers mum was sitting next to us and we struck up a convo with the ol’ bat, and we were forced to not only watch her offspring sing and gyrate but hoot like hell, we were the # 1 groupies. No a bad band, had a couple of toots, and went home, I needed to safe myself for Crazy Legs Barbel fishing contest the next day, hell yeah.

SAT:

Started bad, headache, fat hairy friend lying on lounge floor naked, I had to pack in a rush as Pharo was meeting us at a mates place in 30 minutes, so I packed everything that I didn’t need, ha ha ha, a jersey, one shoe (thank gawd I was wearing my slops), a hat, towel and a wrist band (WTF). So I waited on the road for Pharo, and I waited, and I waited…so I phone: “Hey you sexy custard pudding, where you?”, Pharo: “aaghhh, what, huh, aaaaghhhh, I am still sleeping what time is it” – What she fell asleep, she rushed over 2 hours late. Oh doet balls, eventually we got up to Camperdown to the Crazy Legs Barbel Fishing competition, with the following (after a few stops):

Food (important)
Rods (important for the competition)
Booze (the most important thing in the world)
My bony

I was so amped to catch me a whiskey mud flapper, I downed a beer, got Kalvin to trace me up and then I hit that dam, cast my line in the boiling heat, set up my coolie with grogs next to me and set myself up for hours of successful fishing….I caught jack SHIT! But drank and danced for the first freaking team.

The dance floor was the place to be, Dinks tried to do a dirty dancing move where Patrick Swayze lifts Baby into the air, although Dinks was lifted into a moving Fan, so she had got scalped by the high speed propeller, there was literally blood on the dance floor. Carnage ensued:

Scrumming
Dancing, doing my throw the dice, pick em up and throw em again – killa move’s
Fishing in the squalls of rain
Ummm a lot more happened I think, but I cant remember

I think if you were sober at this thing, you would have had the funniest show in the world, fuck we were off our tits drunk, good fun, I think.

The winning barbell by the way was a 4.2kg baby, caught by the only guy that took the event seriously didn’t drink and sat by his rod all night, it was caught and weighed at 2:34am – dick! He should have been disqualified for not drinking.

I went riding on Sunday arvo with Sid the Sloth, up the mountains that was great!

Then I smashed my couch, hard, very hard.

S.

2008-11-28T02:25:00.000-08:00

Freaking radical, I am taking a half day today and going to the stores to buy the following:

1 x portion of chicken livers
2 x fishing rods
1 x bag of big hooks
2 x small seat thingies to sit on

You see I have entered myself and Pharo into the Annual Crazy Legs Barbel Fishing Contest, where you pay an entrance fee, drink yourself into oblivion whilst trying to catch the biggest barbel, which are donated to farm staff, who for some reason love eating the tassle stinking fish. Huh

Wow, that last post was hectic, I must say I didnt expect it to bug me so much, but I find myself deep in thought about the scenario of Stix, about the what if's and the buts...how many people could have been perfect for you. I dunno, maybe Chantelle Rut in class 2 was the belter for me.

i cant wait to go away this weekend for the Cray Legs, will be awesome to get away from the festering corporate cool cats and just be myself with Pharo and all my close mates.

Have a good one!

S.

2008-11-25T03:59:00.000-08:00

I was going to write today’s blag about my passive aggressive roomie Red, he drives me fucking up the wall, but he is cool...although after reading Spindrifting SA's blog today, I thought I would tell you about one of the biggest regrets of my life:

In 2003 I had moved into a digs in Durban North, with 3 of my oldest pals, it was our first night in the new place, and we hear a knock on the door, a mate and I were wrestling on the floor and this beautiful woman walks in and asks for Sunrise, "huh, me", Stix was dropping off a camera for work that I had to do for a youth trend forecasting company called Instant Grass. I look up from the WWF hold that I was in and said "aagghhh that’s me..."

Stix and I ended up chatting a bit about work, then more personal stuff and then just talking, those talks that just blow you away, we clicked like an atomic bomb, she was beautiful in the most sexy way, she was crazy just like I love that crazy that I like, and unique, definitely unique, which is so rare.

Eventually we had the beanbags out on the lawn, smoked a joint and stared at the stars, we kissed and she stayed over, it was one of those "is this really happening moments, pinch yourself"

We continued to see each other and it grew into a relationship, I was whipped to the max. She asked me a question one night: "Did you sleep with Jube before me (a mutual friend)", I said "No (I lied - on the premise that I did not want her to think bad of me, the worst mistake {seriously} I have ever made of my life)". Life carried on in my blissful loved up state, until I got the phone call that ruined me for a while:

Stix: I am at a Braai with Jube, and she just commented that you and her did sleep together, why did you lie

Sunrise: aaghhh, cause I love you and didn’t want you to think bad of me at that stage of knowing you, I am sorry, it was before I met you, I am sorry.

Stix: You lied, I cant trust you...(after a long time) Its over

I was devastated, I truly thought I was going to marry Stix, we continued to be friends (good friends) post the break up, and I continued to be hopelessly in love with her, even watching her date douchbags. It was the hardest thing I have had to endure, part of me still loves her, she is happy and in love, and I am stoked for her. When you lie, you fuck everything up.

That is my biggest regret, losing love.

S.

2008-11-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

I feel like the bottom of the porridge pot today, just the norm for Monday. But a sweet weekend of surprising (and some funny) events.

we met up with mates for Friday night sushi and all night drinking at the local, and watched Red trying to pick up this belter FHM model, hell that was like watching a fat kid on a diet being gagged whilst a triple decker bar one cake was suspended in front of his face, so much effort but so unavailable. We kept the cream soda industry afloat that night; the JD's were flowing hard, seriously hard.

Saturday, I loaded my bony and headed out to Cato Manor Track, I met Jamo and the crew and rode my dirtbike like a machine, a couple of wipeouts but its feeling good, I reckon I am getting the hang of the feel of the bike how to move it, this is a cool sideline sport. Although... its fucken expensive, a grand here, a grand there for seals and forks, fuck, shit. Dirt bike riders are a bunch of red necks, cool ones though, but still Reddies, rough boys, but honest. The girls that follow this crowd though a tramp stamp deluxe, yeah!

Sat night, we hit the local again, drinking away, chatitty chat chat, and next thing we hear 10 cop vans screaming up Florida rd, and stop outside Wonderlounge (a strip club), which is situated 20m from Billy the Bumz, these coppers, bailed out in military precision brandishing weapons and whole heap of weaponry shit, only to beat down a dude who had hit an off duty cop, who then called his buddies to back him up. The dude that klapped the pussy cop, got bailed into a cop van and hauled off to no doubt a serious beating. But the amount of SAPS support was too funny the whole of Billyz was cat calling and booing the cops for there stupid show of support, for a pervy, nerdy coppa.

check out the SAPS's code of conduct, what a crock of bullony:

commit myself to creating a safe and secure environment for all people
in South Africa by –

participating in endeavours aimed at addressing the causes of crime;
preventing all acts which may threaten the safety or security of any community; and
investigating criminal conduct which endangers the safety or security of the community
and bringing the perpetrators to justice.

I really am beginning to think that surrounding yourself with positive people really do result in positive actions. Things are looking up, Pharo is still so radical, I need some waves though, that would be cool, so I reckon I am going to ask fate for that.

S.

2008-11-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

Email from Pharo.

Hi Sunrise

Was wondering how you’re feeling today. I know you get a hangover on the fumes of beer so if you stopped at Billy’s you’ll no doubt be feeling it.

I was so late today, just got in. Took forever to pack then still had to drop the food off with the guy I told you about.

Let’s hope today va va vooms.

See you later alligator

xx

I failed at Sovember

2008-11-18T23:44:00.000-08:00

Yup, I know I surf early every single morning, I know that the wave's have been crap for the last 2 months, I know that I am a bad/stupid morning person...but there is no need to blunder like I did this morning.

Walking down the North Beach Pier, I was chatting to Big Dawg:

Sunrise: "Fuck this for fun, the wave is poo, I could have been lying in bed next to Pharo, all warm and snuggly hoping for a HOWS YOUR FATHER, instead I am in the rain going for a surf in KAK conditions"

Big Dawg: "I think..."

Pharo's Father: "No really I am glad you came down, a brisk swim will do you good"

Sunrise: "Hii Hiii, ummmmm, Hi Mr. Pharo, ummmmm, agggghhhh"

Yup, Mr. Pharo decided to come down for an early morning swim, and walk behind me, whilst I chatted about his beautiful daughter, whom I am exceptionally fond of, bless her tight buttocks. What a cock up, although that breaks the ice for any other cock ups.

Pharo the champ that she is, thought it a gas, while glad one of us does, so know the fam knows that we shtoping each other, grand. Her response was: "Sunrise you 30, I am 27, what do they think we do when I stay over?" You little biscuit.

Agggghhhh

S.

2008-11-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

A hangover (veisalgia) describes the sum of my wonderfully unpleasant physiological effects following another exceptionally heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages on Saturday.

Friday was a non-event because I was hanging from Thursday’s binge, although our boss did feel the need to run his own “amazing race” event, which had me driving around Dirtbin, looking for stupid fucking clues, whilst Charro (my good colleague) was reading the wrong clues, thus chasing the wrong clues, fucken ‘ell it was the last thing I really wanted to do on a Friday arvo…really, did the boss not stop to think and consider how sacred a Friday is, if you want to bond with your employees do it during your time, like Monday through to Friday 8am-5pm, not 5pm Friday…fuckitfuckitfuckit fuckwit!

After which the couch attacked me, and kept me hostage the rest of Friday eve, whilst Harrison Ford lumped his old ass looking for a crystal skull, what a lame movie.

Due to me hanging out Shia Lebouf and Harrison Ford on Friday night I was amped for a shit off early start on Sat, so I dragged Pharo out of bed at 5:30, and we sped to the beach. Red joined us for Breaky on top of Durban Surf Lifesaving club and we chin wagged about general nonsense, then a random dude just joined our table, its that kinda restaurant locals and all that where everyone knows everyone and tables are joined or taken over, and its cool, but this dude asked if he could sit on the end of our table and drink a coffee, no worries dude go right ahead, just don’t fucken take over our conversation you opinionated ass. Hate that…this weekend wasn’t going in the right direction…then…

Red invited me to a pool party, I went I fell in love, this was real love, the love that only happens once in a lifetime, her name was Peace, and she was beautiful, I thought about running away with her, I asked her if I could, she said no, I almost cried, Hold on, I did cry. She was only R5k a month, beautifully shabby and on the beach, I mean on the beach.

Peace cottage is the most beautiful beach cottage that some mates rent from an old money family, they have decked the place out with the bare essentials of beach living, surf ski’s, surf boards , dive equipment, half a drum for a braai, outside bar, inflatable pool, and an garden of milkwood trees that lead onto a private beach. Well I settled in for the day, drinking, eating watching CRAP rugby, and getting more drunk – I was lord of the bar, and once the John Deers started flowing I was tickets. The blurr set in after we hit Hops & Barley, some dude try to smooch Pharo, I lunged at him in slow motion, with a growl that echoed in my head. I ended up buying him a beer and by the end of the evening (at Harveyz)I think he was my brother for life, the kind of “brother from another mother” kind of drunken murmurings. I danced the four feet monkey shuffle showing the young ones how to throw some tail…oh and i kept asking this mean looking dude to slap me, cause I needed to get slapped sober. agghhh, why?

To my detriment (damn), the world did not end during the night, and I had to deal with my hangover (again) on Sunday, I chilled hard, so hard that I am still dealing with it now…

Sovember here I come, from now till the end.

S.

2008-11-14T04:06:00.000-08:00

This gangbanger went downtown last night...

So I am hanging like a pimpin' snoop dog today, hell I was getting a serious case cabin fever, so I hit the town. Billyz in Florida Rd is the high times for vagina loving men and dick loving older ladies; it’s a unadalterated orgy house, what fun! I caught up with old mates, whilst swilling beer and vodies, agh the good stuff.

It was good to feel the ol'' loose Sunrise rise from the ashes, the liquor inflamed talk, the machismo of Dutch courage, the thoughts of you having JT's dancing skillZ and Enrique iglesias's silver tongue.

Life is definitely oh contrary in the morning, my feet feel like Hager the horrible, my head like Tom Cruise after a scientology meet, my tongue like I have licked a urinal with stompies in...and and and. Pharo thought it hilarious when I went to the beach for my morning surf, with no towel, no boardies, I was a freaky mess. Good times...

Nonetheless, I will be in a surf mag, fuck yeah.

WTF, heard a song with these lyrics, and I loved it - lyrics are a bit out there, but hell (Band: Peaches):

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
Callin me, all the time like blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches,
What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?

huh? right. what? uhh.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

S.

2008-11-13T06:11:00.002-08:00

So busy today, agghh, some good news though, I have been told that I will be featured in a surf mag, Radical!

This weekend is turning into a fiasco of plans, people are making em, breaking em and re-making them.

S.

2008-11-12T03:35:00.000-08:00

Its the small things that make you happy, last night, I (Pharo did it all, but "I" added the tomato) made dinner, and in the process Pharo and I got to hang out and chill, chat and laugh, we just laughed about dorky stupid shit, that’s the important thing.

Pharo has a phobia about tomato's, she can’t touch them, smell them or go near them and I put them into her salad, damn. That's a weird phobia, but according to Pharo it’s quite a common one, she says its one of the most common phobias. I will have to google/wikipedia that shit, so I guess my ambition to attend the Spanish Tomato festival is out.

With all sorted we ate the most awesome meal, dating Pharo is gonna make me FAT, shit that woman can cook like the Greek Gods of Great Cooking, Nigela can stick a spoon of choco up her snot box, cause Pharo will whip the pants off her in cooking dept. Hell Yeah!

I am in the trenches at work and pulling out all the stops to get under the skin of all the portfolio's that I have been given with absolutely no guidance. I really respect my boss, he is the best at what he does, but infuriatingly gives you work that for him is piss easy (because he has 30 years experience and knows everyone under the sun, including dead people), but doesn’t seem to tell me how to execute it, so like a good Easter egg hunt I figure that shit out, yo. Some I get right, some I get wrong, but I learn...a little too vertically at this stage, but this will all come to an end next year. I respect him, so I want to do good for him, even if I don’t want to be here...

S.

2008-11-10T05:46:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by the her sexiness narrative dancing in tragedy, like me a cockroach full of left legs, turning and spinning, mouthing the words in rhythmic harmony to nothing, but loving all of it, shit sakes that’s all off the subject. DT tagged me in this “what’s in my head thing”, OK:

Word for the week in my head...
Yakuzi – for Jaccuzzi after the weekend aaannndddd STEAM, cause you can look steamy, steam someone, steamroll someone, a heap of shit can be used with steam…now that was steamy.
Thought for the week in my head...
My bond is gonna be huge and it’s stressing me out.
Thing for the week in my life...
I don’t really want to go riding this coming weekend in Dundee (where things go to DIE), but I have committed.
Song for the week in my head...
Was digging some old school Metallica on the way back from Underberg, jammed and sang along…Forgiven – classic!
Food for the week in my belly...
Spiga D’ora Mafioso, mmm
Colour for the week in my life...
white, and yellow…I dunno
Smile for the week on my face...
I had such awesome naughties this weekend, makes me smile thinking about it.
Blessing for the week in my heart…
I am able bodied and use every part of me, I just appreciate having full use of my body, I still see that paralyzed dude and give him rides to his work when I can, gives me SUCH perspective…and stoked that Pharo is super positive and has affected me, she is so freaking cool!

Cool,
S.

2008-11-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful day, in the city of Dirtbin it’s a stunnA today.

Do you have rituals when you wake up? I always worry that if I get out of bed on left side of my bed that I will have a bad day, I tried it twice and on both occasions I had horror days, absolute shiteous days. No more my friends, now I am a get-out-right-side kinda guy!

I went with Pharo and her jet set connections to Underberg for the w/end, it pissed like Noah was building an ark on the front lawn, but the crowd was a freaking blast, we created our own warmth by skulling wine by the litre!

We rented a place, if I could imagine the perfect Berg cottage with all the creature comforts but still have the charm of a cottage and user friendly enough to allow you to "put your feet on the furniture” then this is the place, it had the following:

Jacuzzi (the YaKuz)
Open plan kitchen - with lounge and fire place (big one)
Upstairs lounge
DSTV for the rugga - BUggA
Loads of fridge space for the booze, oh ya for the food too.
Two or three en suit bathrooms
Another room with bunk beds etc (Sleeps 8 comfortably)
Beautiful deck, with mind-blowing freaking views of rolling mountains

So that set the scene when I arrived, but because I am a hyperactive douchbag, I had to bring my dirtbike, I am new to this sport and its the first time that I did not have any support in this regard, but thought, hey, I am in Underberg, it would be killa to ride, cause I hate hiking.

Imagine this, I get up, get dressed in the ridiculous kit that you need to ride in, stomp through the crew, the jeered comments (in good nature) that I looked like Robo-cop (I did), get on the bike, hoping to make a memorable wheel spin, to show them what I man I am (cause only true men wheel spin), I start the bike, only to have a stuttering cough in response, I try again, same result (what do they say about stupidity, trying the same thing hoping to expect a different result...ya me, exhibit A = stupid). Everyone comes outside to see Robo-Cop, trying to figure out what’s wrong...I try push starting the bike, only to almost vomit from the exertion. Final effort was loading the bike back onto the van, getting undressed, stupid sport! I need to figure out what I did wrong...

Nevertheless we ate like kings, talked a WHOLE bunch of smack whilst a fire roared, made loads of great food, and continued to down wine and champagne in the YakuZZZ , in the rain, FREAKING AWESOME!

Sunday cleared, and we walked to Giants Castle 3 pools, jumped in ice cold pools and had such a blast. A nice chilled alcohol fueled w/end, it was very cool meeting Pharo's mates, good motivated folk.

On my house issue front, it’s the week of paying my dues, I have to pay for transfer fees etc, OWCH, this gonna hurt, major. Cost of living and loving I suppose.

S.

2008-11-05T02:02:00.000-08:00

Sheeez, did you watch Obama's acceptance speech this morning, hell steath, it gave me goose bumps..."Yes we can!"

So I mentioned that I have been carting international colleagues around like an overpaid driver, well I got to go the Aquarium yesterday and a dolphin show, I mean I have never been to one, very corny, but the damn dolphins seriously are beautiful, and looked like they enjoyed themselves, not sure if I could be put through the same paces like that 3 times a day, 7 days a week. I would get a tad bored, but they have a cushy life compared to their sea brethren! On that note Japanese spider crabs and stone fish are just freaking strange!

Last night I had to attend a birthday for one of my old School buddies birthdays, he was a wild child turned good, so I had to endure dinner with a bunch of happy clappies, wasn’t bad, i just let them know from very early on, that I follow Christian beliefs but if they try and manipulate me into a biblical conversation I would not stand for it. It was interesting anyway, we discussed how liberal everyone has become, and accepting and how its so un-Politically correct to spate general opinions, e.g. "Being Gay is wrong", but in our current socio-climate, you have to say, "I am not Gay, and don’t advocate it, but if you are, good for you." I dig liberalism, and all, but I am just so tired of watching what I say, although I support that we are in good times that people can be who they want to be. SHOOO, tired of this now!

Over the w/end I saw a show on DSTV called Sunset Tan, hell is that what America is all about, if it is, the world is FUCKED! Those people have lost the plot, completely!!!!!

Back at work earning my monthly salary.

Blah.

S.

2008-11-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

Hooking that fish.

Apologize I didn’t post yesterday, I have been waylaid by international colleagues, I have been carting around colleagues from pillar to post, drinking cappuccinos by the liter and eating by the pound!

Nevertheless, the w/end was a chilled blast, the event didn’t go as planned (winning glory and getting the moola), but was very cool nonetheless! I did chat to some bizarre old dude, who informed me about the three P's of life:

1) Piece of chicken
2) Piece of Ass
3) Piece and quite

I was quite taken back at his 'Yoda' like intellect; he is the nostrodamus of our time, the guru of life, my mentor to be. WTF!!!

After that life lesson, I bronzed my bod, surfed my tits off, chatted to Phar (who supported me from the beach). I snuck into the surfing VIP tent and ate myself a new digestive system. That was my w/end really...

Don’t you love to hate over eager people, so I am at dinner last night and we were served by Leroy, a great Zimbabwean, he was so nervous (first time being a waiter), he cocked everything up, I MEAN EVERYTHING! He poured beer, so that it was all foam, brought fish cutlery for chicken, Soup spoon for steak, rice with steak (ordered chips), but all through this the Dude just smiled and thought he was doing a fab job, he was a blast. His mate obviously hooked him up with a job at MOYO (go there its the freaking awesome - food ok, vibe cool!), its his first time being a waiter, and he has only been in SA for 7 months, you gotta give a guy trying so hard a break, I did and gave him a monster tip, told the manager that he is the best waiter here and left the manager bemused, seriously bemused.

Taking a line from the shocking Mnet movie on Sunday evening, Acts of Random Kindness can change the world. I would like to think...

US elections, now that might change the world.

S.

2008-10-31T02:35:00.000-07:00

I did pass go, I lost R200, picked up a black eye, but got the house!

I am shocked to the core, the ex did a bit of a Mitzvah for me, do you know what a Mitzvah is, well here it is: The term mitzvah is a Jeweish term to express any act of human kindness.

We had the arbitration about the house, and it went so smoothly, she didnt flinch that she was losing money, I was transparent, i didnt want to screw her out of anything, although she did look good though, I am sure this was a sneaky ploy on her behalf, woman are wily things.

So in essence, I am buying her out at a fair price, I have raised the dollars, and all's fair and fair. A huge relief and stress has been lifted, this whole house issue was like an unseen lead balloon weighing me down, keeping me tense and uptight, now I just need to pay the bond off as soon as I can, thats gonna take hard work, which I am looking forward too!

Looking forward toward the w/end, its the surf contest tomorrow, so taking it easy tonight, DVD's and pizza, Pharo has her old chooks birthday then hopefully she will pop around to loosen me up for tomorrow's event...mmm mmm!

Here's to the future with a roof over my kop.

S.

2008-10-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

Cause and Effect

Ishikawa diagram (is this German or Japanese?), in fishbone shape, showing factors of men, machines (surfboard), milieu (workplace) - (Collegue's head), materiel (other shit that pisses you off), methods (generally anything that opens its mouth and say stupid things), measurement (I dunno...), all affecting the overall problem (ME). Smaller arrows connect the sub-causes to major causes.

The issue of cause and effect has been on mind today, I went Surfing before work this morning and whislt enjoying a good session of saltwater and chatting to mates in the water, although during the course of the session, my board hit me square in the face, like a sledghammer I was knocked down, down to china town. Like the beatdown I got from the ex, I now have another shiner. So here's my question, what did I do my board, to want to whack me in my head, although post the beating, I was in a foul mood, my head was pounding, and due to this I almost chewed the head off the random office collegue that saunters into my office every 2 seconds to "chat", FUCK that guy irritates me!

Cause - nothing to poor ol' surfboard
Effect - headache, headless collegue, grumpy me

Lets hope that today gets better...

On the other hand, I am surfing in surfing contest this weekend, looking forward to that shit, there are some pretty good competitors entering, so its going to be a challenging affair, one that I am keen to do well in! Pharo is going to come down and support, does this make us official now? MMMM dont really want to think about that, its going to well to get into the details.

Wednesdays suck - they nowhere...

S.

2008-10-28T05:25:00.000-07:00

Stimulated to the MAX

Stimulation, its something that I lacking right now, in a whole bunch of spheres in my life:

Working life
Sociol Life
Family Life

It sounds terrible, although it might be the time of year, I feel like I need a freaking break, the kind where you are NOT permitted to think, just eat, sleep and some sort of exercise (preferably in or near the sea).

I am just saying, sometimes you just get bored, bored, bored!

So in I am trying the following:

Joined a beach training programme - run/swim/run - do GI Jane like push-ups and shit on the beach, run/swim/run AGAIN - more GI Jane like crunches - run/swim/run AGAIN, AAAGGGHHHHH, I collapse at this stage, feign an excuse to the lean hunting dog bodies that I exercising with, and high tail it home! But the point is that its different. I am tryin things different...I just wish i could influence my Family life, its so messed up, what with divorve an' all, so that will be my next mission, trying to hang with the Fam stress free, if thats possible.

Work is kinda sorted (next year), have to hang tight till then...Sociolly, I just going to slow down for November, see more fliks, spend time with Pharo, exercise my body more, not my arm.

Lets see how long this lasts.

S.

P.S. Meeting the ex on Friday morning in arbitration about the house, this is going to interesting!

2008-10-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

How I behaved, like a drunk raving lunatic!

Friday night started with a very awkward situation, I get to pick up the Ex dropping inappropriate comments and her mate at the airport, as they needed to crash at my spot, as they were going on super dodgy cruise ship The Melody for a cruise to "nowhere", I mean who the hell would want to go on a South African rust bucket, with shitty food, crazy seas to nowhere, no destination to look forward, just rolling ship, geriatric passengers and 12 screaming girl mates. Hell not me!

I just wanted to be polite, let them stay, but to be honest I couldn’t wait to see the back of them. When you see someone that you used to be with ages ago, and then see them again, you know immediately why the relationship ended and the reasons, I could not be with her in this stage of my life, I am a completely different person. What shocked me though was how racist she was, I don’t even think that she realizes, but I was shocked! We did dinner at Spiga, went out for a few drinks and then went home exhausted, I dropped them off early the next morning, and I was really glad to drive away.

What it did do though is emphasize what a good girl Pharo is, she chatted away with the Ex, and she made a potentially fucked night, quite pleasant - what a cracker.

Saturday was all about THE GAME, we got ready, got to the stadium early, I had awesome seats, right behind the players, almost on the field. Myself and pharo swigged beer and bantered with the crowd and got shitfaced at One Stop Bar/nighclub/rugger bugger jol, was a blast. One of my mates managed to talk a hot bulls supporter chick to let us stick sharks stickers on her boobs, man that was funny, this Bulls chick flashing okes with sharks stickers on her nipples, I am super proud of that amazing skill. We didn’t have a car, I don’t even remember getting dragged of the dance floor, we hitched to Billy's and then I dunno how I ended up with half pizza in my face at Spige, but I did and it was the best pizza EVER!

Sunday morning was a day of feeling like bad case of dinglberries, I hung so HARD, so Pharo and I went to Umdloti and swam in the sea whilst the wind blew the hardest since man first walked the earth, but that kinda cleared my head for we had a long boozy lunch at Beanbag, where more and more mates feeling the same way rocked up, we got there at 11 and left at 5pm, NICE! slow drive home and then MASSIVE chill session on the couch.

I need to hang up my drinking boots, I am forcing myself to training tonight, its time to get fit...crap, I hat that word.

S.

2008-10-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

What I dont need tonight

I swear life doesn’t get any fucking easier!

So I forgot ages ago that one of my Varsity Ex's phoned up and asked if she could crash the night (tonight), as she is going on a cruise tomorrow. I completely forgot about it, remembering only after I get a text reminding me, and then I had to break the news to Pharo, that she will be meeting another Ex (cool one albeit), the poor little trooper, she must think that I have one in every nook and cranny.

I have been totally transparent to Pharo, explaining the situation, she has been so cool. "That's awesome that you guys are mates", "Yeah, let’s do dinner" etc.

I have invited a common mate along for dinner, so dinner tonight will be: Me, Pharo, Varsity Ex, and Big Red. Since my most recent Ex, I have become fucked out paranoid of chicks going nuts...Its going to be cool to catch up, enjoy some fine dining, I hope I don’t bump into the recent ex, and she see's all this, she will fucking PLUTZ HERSELF! HA HA, Imagine that... 1 current, 1 Ex and Me, she will shit her pants, and probably add another 50% to the amount that she wants for the house!

Good luck the Sharks, eat those Bulls Pussies!

S.

2008-10-22T23:32:00.000-07:00

Its a war out there, you gotta fight it with a smile on your dial!

Valuations on my abode have been carried out, private bankers are doing their homework, and offers to the Ex are being formulated, I sincerely hope this goes down with no drama, its not necessary, but knowing the Ex, she is so keen to put in the screws on me. She sent me text messages last night that she is sending in her family friend to take back all the gifts that she gave me (1 x patio table, and other bric a brac), I mean how petty do you want to get, to be honest, I don’t give a shit, she must take all that crap, I don’t want to owe her anything. She still feels vindicated against that I have met someone new (lets not forget, so has she), because her whole life, her folks have treated her like a little princess, and she has gotten away with everything, that she feels seriously jilted that I called her bluff, moved on, and met someone else, that I am not pining away like she wants me too. FUCK THAT!

Her brother was sending me text messages saying that he is going to beat me up yadda yadda, WTF is that about, in reality I would clean the floor with that fucker!

AGGGHHH, the good life huh, and through all this, I don’t want to be brought into a slinging match, even after I have been attacked by the drunken ex, heard terrible rumors etc, I don’t want to stoop to any level, and I am not accepting all this lying down, I really don’t care, what she says and does, because the more she does the sillier she looks! I am taking steps, to acquire the house, this is the last emotional attachment she has left to manipulate me with, once it’s done, it will all be over.

The weird thing is that I am feeling quite positive about life in general! Weird huh, and these are the reasons:

1)I received a great offer for next year.
2)Pharo, is the coolest gal, and is positive and well, yeah, I am happy.
3)I have given up trying to compete against the wall's at my current job, I realize that I don’t want to be here, so I am happy to find resolve in point 1.
4)I am going to buy a Ford Ranger, the most manly car in the world, now I can transport my dirt bike and surfboard around, gawd, I will look so manly, I should buy a staffie just to complement that picture!
5)I really believe that the Sharks are going to win on Sat, but I don’t really care that much, its just good to have a town full of people, having a good time.
6)There is some good surf in town.

Yup, that’s about it... C'est la vie, thats life I suppose.

S.

2008-10-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

I have been faced with some challenging scenarios of late, the Ex is forcing me to buy her out of our house, or alternatively sell the whole thing, lock stock. I have frantically been getting evaluations, chatting to my pvt banker about bonds etc, crazy. Added to these woes, I am hating, let me emphasize, HATING work at the moment. I am being asked to perform duties, and not given the tools, resources, personall or info to do the job, and then chastised in front of crowds for not knowing where/what to do, I could scream.

Nevertheless, this too shall pass - I hope!

Dbn, is in a quiver of excitement for the currie cup final, the bulls fans are starting to drink their way into town, and when that happens things get messy, very messy! Last time, some Bulls fans put a herd of bouncers into hospital, it was gnarly...

Here's looking forward to the weekend and the end of the year.

S.

2008-10-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

The funniest indecisive weekend ever!

Pharo and I are hanging out on the beach, lying propped up on a grass bank that leads onto the beach, chatting, reading the paper, just enjoying the sun on our backs, I saw this mangy (but loved) dog walking with his owner, it had a gammy leg, and was limping so badly that it was half falling over, I mentally said "Shame". As it started limping down the bank following its owner, its limp started teetering further and further over, Pharo hadn’t seen the limping dog, as she was banging her gums, when momentum took over the dog plunged down the hill, bounced on a grassy knoll, and landed squarely on Pharo in mid sentence, she screamed her tits off, the dog was doing the dying cockroach dance on Pharos stomach, I couldn’t believe this was going down, the dogs owner was sprinting towards us. HELL! The owner wrenched the dog off Pharo, apologizing the whole time, informing us that the dog had a stroke and half its body was paralyzed, Pharo and I were just laughing so hard. I mean imagine chilling and this huge hairball falls from the sky and lands on you! TOO FUNNY, we giggled the whole day.

Post dog episode we had long chatty lunch at the new Beanbag Bohemia at Umdloti, sweet melons, it has the best, food I have ever tasted, we had an enchanting meal, when one of the Ex's dick mates walked in and gave me the big hairy, I mean, what the hell does a guys want to give another guy the big hairy eyeball for, isnt that reserved for the domain of bitchy woman. It bothered me slightly, but not for long, I was just pissed that he dented the bubble of such a fun, tastey lunch.

Would you believe that I ended up at a strip club on Saturday night with 4 girls; girls are a nightmare in a strip club. I mean, you are there to appreciate the erotic beauty of woman, these mad ass chicks, were like crazed monkeys trying to dance with them, then getting all manic guilty for being there and then trying to empathize with the strippers plight, by asking what got them there, why do they dance (Ummmm to make a ship load of cash!), then came the question, "who does your poen waxing, its beautiful", the strippers and chicks got into a discussion of poen waxing, I have realized that strip joints are for men, and woman (bless em) need to stay away, we need to keep the respectability of strip joints! What a laugh though, the girls who were so shy to enter, then got thrown out for being to wild, crazy!

Indecisive, crazy woman, dogs from the sky, hairy eyeballs, I experienced the works this weekend....

S.

2008-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

Even though its monsoon season in Dirtbin and my washing is piling up like a whores handbag, it still so cool to fall asleep to rain falling, but ahem, ahem, enough is fucking enough, let the sun come out and the bikini clad bod's grace our fine East Coast biatch's, sorry I mean beaches.

what does sun mean, it means braai's and all the fun that ensues whilst getting sunburnt cooking cows, mmm mmmm

Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking that a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the Braai the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the braai - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE BRAAI.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE BRAAI AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, serviettes,sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISESthe MANand THANKS HIMfor his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Just a reminder...havea cool w/end!

S.

2008-10-16T03:06:00.000-07:00

A dialogue that I have been having with some friends, check out this smacK:

A couple of issues have come to light with a common root. This Luke Watson thing is has really gotten under my skin. Not because he’s a dick, but in the way he’s responded. And it brings to light a typically South African trait, and that is that there is zero accountability for anyone’s actions:

Case in point – Luke Watson…

He said some inflammatory and racist statements, which were then reported in the national papers.

(For those who don’t know said SA rugby was run by Dutchmen, and he wanted to puke on the Springbok Jearsey.)

No apology given, instead he blames “certain powers” of using the statement for their own gain. (Gotta love “certain powers”. Those certain powers really seem to be active when ever anyone does something wrong…)

The problem is not that he said it. (Well actually it is, but that’s another whole point)

The problem is that he doesn’t apologize nor retract his statement (Take accountability) but rather say that his comments were released with the intention of discrediting him. (Obviously idiot, that was the point). Rather than deny what was said, say that it its being reported by people with nefarious intent, which somehow makes it not as bad… ????

Then treaten threaten legal action against those who leaked it to the press. (Standard response in SA. A little FYI regarding suing the media - Last count JZ was in legal proceedings with multiple newspapers and reporters in SA, with a total of R100,000,000 being claimed in total. (Including R2,000,000 + R3,000,000 against Bullard, but excluding Thabo who though he said he’d sue, he never did… yet))

It shows a distinct lack of responsibility and the most important element missing in SA – Accountability.

Nobody in SA is accountable for any action. If you don’t do your job, can’t get fired. Say something slanderous, you were misquoted.

You drive drunk and get caught – have to be found guilty in court, and then appeal the decision till 2011, by which time its all over.

Minister corruptly get her drivers license (FRAUD) – then gets promoted in Government.

Guilty of corruption – do not deny that you guilty, but that they found out about the corruption illegally which was against your constitutional right to a fair trial. (Why doesn you trial have to be fair if you are guilty.

Try to influence the highest court of the land – Sue them for saying so. (Judge Hlope is asking R10 Million by accusing our highest Judges of slander)

No accountability. Nobody resigns because you cannot fire anyone. Suspension with full pay. (That’s the best). Or if it goes to court the government pays your legal bills (Read JZ, McBride, Jackie Selebi, Thabo, Winnie), so obviously you get the best legal team in the world. (ex Judge Heath (of famous Heath Commission probing the arms deal) is part of the legal council that is defending JZ)

And Luke is no different. Say something racist (Dutchmen) and suddenly anyone who says so, misquoted you? How do you misquote that? Any context is bad. (Remember the guy who used the “k” word in a press conference and said it was taken out of context, (HOW I’M NOT SURE))

Maybe they should put Luke and Bakkies in a room to discuss the issue. Bakkies is not big on negotiation, and I think Lukes ass will not be big on Bakkies. (Or maybe it will be in the end)

THE RETORT....

As Leo DiCaprio states on the silver screen, “T.I.A, this is Africa”, and the actions of us Africans (Watson is also black – didn’t you know – as he was selected in the SA side as a “Quota” Player) will always be the same, no matter how much they don’t make sense. We just have to look at history to see that nothing has changed since the days of Shaka:

Shaka, (like the current incumbent SA PreZ JZ) held sway over a large portion of Southern Africa. Noted as brilliant leader (still to be seen by JZ), who still continues to cast a long shadow (showerhead) over how he governed raped, stole and murdered his people during his tenure as king (ANC President). He has been credited with the initial development of the “Buffalo Horns” (Ass raping of Mbeki) fighting formation, of which we can see plenty in our current political landscape:

The “Horns” is made up of the younger, less experienced, but quicker moving troops – Malema and his outlandish, inflammatory racist statements

The “Chest” is the central or mail force which charges into the enemy and delivers the coup de grace – JZ the bullish fraudulent oaf that swoops in to lop the head and balls off Mbeki

The “Loins” are the reserves used to exploit/reinforce where needed (often older vet’s) – The rest of gravy train, wanting to lick the balls of JZ to siphon as much dough for themselves.

Even though this is way of the topic of that ball-bag Watson, it is all political, and in Africa we have to submit to the African way, Africa has never been a civil place, case in point was big beefcake zulu dancers seen at an African themed resturant that were forced to wear homo ballet dresses for a traditional Zulu dance, freaked me out a tad – eat or be eaten. TIA as Leo would say!

S.

2008-10-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

''The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.'

How apt was that! Nothing really to report on, just a normal week, althoug I went car shopping and thinking of buying the manly Ford Ranger. Hell Yeah!

S.

2008-10-13T02:13:00.000-07:00

Highs, lows, flatlines and long lines, it all happened this weekend! Crikey...

So Friday night I joined Pharo, for one of her connections birthdays (The P), The P organized a hellava piss up at Moyo, a great Africa themed restaurant at Ushaka. We ate paka Zulu food, whilst quaffing away like maniacs at beer fest, much to the hallAballoo of our neighboring tables. The P, also paid for the entire thing, and it was his party, a good guy!

Side Story: At Moyo, a girl sitting opposite me was cold, they offer blankets at the restaurant due to its proximity to the sea, (it gets fucken cold), there was a pile of blankets next to me, so I pick one up and give it to the girl, like the gentleman that I am. Next thing I have a Jackie Chan look-alike giving me a the dubbed Chinese English beratement....I figured out, through the dubbing, that his kid was sleeping under the MOUND of blankets, and he wanted his blanket for the top of his mound of fucking blank'ies. I politely apologized and said, I thought it was JUST a pile of blankets, and I did not know that a kid was beneath it, god forbid, if one of our drunk rabble would have dived on this fluffy pile and squashed Jackie's kid....I stretched and gave him a spare blankie for his kid, he was not amused. I saw his point, he did not see my point, we agreed to disagree, but he is a wanker!

We continued on and ended up at Cubana, drinking till the cows came home, and then we ate them, cause I was fuck off hungry after all that drinking!

Saturday morning I was enjoying a peaceful sleep when I was rudely awoken to my mate waking me to go riding motorbikes (I had promised)...Shitballs it was the last thing that I felt like doing, but my word is like oak (I wish it wasn’t), I endured the morning riding, falling, eating dirt and hating life! After which I had to rush home, change and hit the rugby, where I watched the Sharks walk into the Currie Cup Finals! HELL YEAH, I got the hair of the dog off my back and swilled more beer, and was stoked not to be riding, cause even though I love it, it was crap on Saturday! The mates and I hit Rovers after to watch the Bulls game and were met by a throng of hormone induced teens spading their tits off at the sports club, whilst we were trying to watch the game. GAWD, I am so glad to be comfortable in my own skin, with my own opinions, cause those teens did not know I freakin' thing about life, except how to Pop a collar, try and drink and get laid.

I met Pharo for a cool relaxed dinner after at Panzeta, a nice gourmet pizza joint, had a relaxing chinwag about teenagers and their lack of knowledge of anything, and what the fuck is on with popped collars, its so dumb!

After that blackness, I slept so hard, I think my heart stopped. I flatlined...

On Sunday, I chilled at Suncoast beach, I didn’t want to do anything more than lie in the sun and read the paper, that’s when it happened, I saw the ex, with her new beau. I am stoked for her, and I hope she is happy; I don’t want to get back together with her. But after our last meeting where she punched me, I am nervous to approach her due to the scene she caused. So now that she is with a new guy, I hope that she can move on, and hoping that we can one day be able to chat.

So that was my weekend, Pharo is the coolest girl out, and I think things are developing, but slowly does it...

S.

2008-10-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

How sushi should be eaten, how fucken sexist is this! How cool too!

Blah, blah, blah, why do we all continually complain about work... I will tell you why, because we not doing what we should be doing! Well, I am hating shit right now, I hate being an idle hand, not using my full potential, and that’s the space that I am in right now. Although the end is in sight, I need to finalize action, thoughts and get onto a path to job satisfaction and wealth, cause lets be honest besides sleeping, you spend the most time at graft, so would make sense to do something you enjoy.

I believe that kids (or me) were not warned enough about seriously choosing the correct career path for my personality. I believe that I have gone about it the best to my ability and cant believe that I earn "this much" money for doing "really" nothing. The thing is that some people might be happy carrying on with this, I get to sit in a cool office, with cool (backstabbing bitches) people, be involved in awesome events, the perceptions are amazing. I have people saying to me "I wish I had your job, it must insane" (bollocks). Although it has been a journey, I need to take another path, I need to get off this one. I think I have found the solution, although its risky, could be amazing, could open up doors that I would not have stepped through earlier, all because I think I am seeing things clearly now. My fingers are crossed for the future, can you hope for anything more?

HEAVY!

Anyways, we had the freaking best thunderstorm in ol' dirtbin yesterday arvo, thunder, the works, and I was surfing, the waves were super fun, and the rain was belting down. Makes you feel alive, makes you want to scream out loud, I almost did, but it was quite crowded and I didn’t want peeps to think I was drowning or something...

After cruising back home, myself and Pharo went to a sushi making class, gawd I was hungry and Shaun the sushi guy was babbling on about the origins of Sushi (it started in China, and not Japan - HUH!), and all I wanted to do was chew off the fuckers face I was so rav, I almost did, until Shaun gave me a cucumber to chop, I chopped shit, I ate that bad boy (or some and chopped some). Pharo and I, sushi'd ourselves to death, making and eating. Was fun, except for the sexual references Shaun'o was delivering like a AK47, which had all the woman (I was only one of two men there) in stacks of giggles, whenever Shaun said, "now keep it wet" and "dip it in and out", half the woman, NO ALL the woman there needed to get laid super bad!

At least its Friday, no one has given me my 10 000 000 dollars, but hey, I am holding out...

S.

2008-10-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

The school themed piss up, some of the good time peeps that I beat down with my fake balls...

I have been lazy again, this I admit, although I have been concentrating on me, letting go of the crap, and I think with the help of Pharo the perpetual fog might be lifting.

About 3 weeks ago I met Pharo, a vivacious monster that has lifted me from a sadness that I didn’t know I was walking around with. I have always been a naughty happy fucker, although in the last 2 years, I slipped into a slump and didn’t even know it. Now that I see I have been a dreadful bore, and need to get back to ME, I can work on this and Pharo has been a huge help. Also great fun hanging out with Pharo...

Over the weekend (and its almost the new one??), I went to a school theme dress up party, this is a fact, its been proven by science, chicks look so fucking hot in school uniforms, it might be the catholic school girl fantasy, it might be titillating pedophilic (in a good way), it might be the reminiscence of your first bungled sexual exploits. I dunno its just super hot seeing 20something girls running around in short skirts, pony tails and school blazers. I did a whole lotta dancing in kortbroek rugby shorts, with my fake nuts hanging out the side, now that was sexy, hell I had all these pubescent old schoolbiatch's trying to fondle em - it was great!! AAGGHH the good old' days, where smooching and boob fondling was all the rage!

So remember that cripple guy that made me realize to suck it up and get over myself, well I have been lifting him to work, and he is a bank teller at Std Bank, and a hellave good guy, clever as shit and I don’t think he should just be a teller. I have a stutter, so we kinda have an understanding what its like to have disability. His is far greater, and I admire that so much. It feels good to help this guy, not that he needs my help, he is quite capable, but it’s nice to help anyway.

On the body front, I woke up last night with shooting pains down my back, I almost couldn’t drive it was so painful. I was swearing all the way to work like a freakin' trooper, cause every time I moved my head, pain would blind my eyeballs! I went to the chiro, and the mac daddy told me all my ribs were out of whack, and the guy judo chopped my back right back into whack, ta doc, but that was FUCKING painful dipshit!

So keen for the weekend, so keen to hang on the beach, so keen to be given 10 000 0000 dollars so that I can do fuck all for the rest of my life. Who knows might happen...

S.

2008-10-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

Another unbelievable dinner last night, who thought that WTD could make beans taste so good, and the fun releasing them from your bowels...had a cool chat to WTD and was not too impressed with her new BF ordering her around the kitchen, telling her he wants this and he wants that, but she seems to be all loved up and stoked. So let’s not rock that boat.

This morning when driving to work, I saw a cripple dude, crutching his way to work; I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. The guys had the hugest smile on his face, and said; "Nah, its cool, I am almost there". WOW, the guy just crutched to work and he is freaking happy as a pig in shit, perspective, that gave me a heap.

I need to get over my ridiculous, Poor Sunrise, I have it so damn hard, and get on with my fucking life of enjoying my mates, making moola and enjoying making it.

So good to be woken up from dead mans sleep, by a smiling dude crutching his way to work!

S.

P.S. Thanks DT, ha ha look at me no hands!!!!!

2008-10-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

Its been a week or so since the incident and the coast seems clear, although I fear a flare up.

On the other hand, its amazing how good food makes me so damn happy, last night I said screw the poor, and went to Woolies and bought the ingredients for the best steak dinner in the world. I am still salivating at my prowess in creating a meal not even the best resturant could better.

Mid week blues are setting in, I need more sleep and I am off to "Walk the Dog's" (WTD) house for another home made dinner tonight, just to talk some poo with WTD will be cool, love that biatch, she tells it like it is, we have similar issues so can blab about them and not feel bad about boring each other.

Summer is coming, mmm mmm mmm

S.

2008-09-30T03:27:00.000-07:00

I have nothing massive to yell about, only the following arbness:

1) A girl told me she Loved me, I freaked the fuck out, I dont need any more NUTS, had enough thank you!

2) I might have had an offer I cant refuse, maybe...

3) I had the most amazing sex dream last night, fuksakes, I didnt want to wake up! MMM maybe I should do the "I love you" girl? You know let her know that its a transaction (not pay her), just let her know that if she loves me that much, would she mind if I take her for a spin, a test drive. Ha ha, nah never...

It bothers me to a small extent that everyone at work asks on a Monday or Tuesday what your plans are for the weekend, when I dont even remember what I have just done over my last weekend, let alone plans. Shits and Giggles, I have no freaking idea.

The biatch of Bitches is back at work, after taking 2 weeks off for her Best Connection's wedding, who the freak has a wedding for 2 weeks (probably involed in a cult). But the best thing is that her tooth fell out during the ceremony, holy pooballs, I would have paid serious money to see that shit go down...Goffels paradise ekse!

S.

2008-09-29T05:21:00.000-07:00

Another pic from the same huge session I spoke about last week, from another angle, and another photographer. Cool huh!

Huge weekend, huge! I feel like dismembered muti victim, my liver has been soaked in the hard tack, owch! Friday night myself and a troop of mates went to check out a new club in Durbs, Clapham Grand.

One thing that makes us Durbanites stand apart from the rest of the world is that we are such lemmings, one chappy pretty much owns all the night spots in Durbs, and he uses tried and tested formula for packin' em in and, getting them hammered and kicking them out the door to get some new livers to fuck up through the door. HAH, I didn’t fall for it, by the age of 30; I have mastered the art of seeing through the veneer of marketing bollocks. The queue for the new joint was 200m long, moving as fast as the police to break in (about 0.00003km per hour). Although the site of so many boobs wrapped in next to damn nothing, kept me waiting for longer than I should have, eventually I had the shits and went back to Billy the Bums, the usual haunt to get buggered up on great conversation, asphyxiating crowds and more tightly wrapped up boobs. I only found out the next day that half the crowd I was hanging with was high as bloody bats on coke. Snort away fuckers, but I had the best time with nothing but a headful of Jack Daniels, coke might have been cheaper in the long run, but I don’t condone that shit!

Saturday was surfing in the morning and getting dolled up for a mates 30th, thank goodness he is a mature 30 year old, so we had a great braai with soda (too scared to say coke), couple of beers and once again some good laughs. I also saw my old school mate Trav and his beautiful wife; he is the happiest sod out. He knocked up his then girlfriend in the early 2002, married her under major threats from her Afrikaans family, she stood by him, and 2 kids later, 1 more on the way, and working night and day to provide they are the happiest people I know. Go figure...so that was super, gave me something to hope for. I then went home and watched the worst DVD in the world "Meet the spartans" must have been made in an alternate universe where only vegetative state minds live, oh wait, that’s all the kids of middle America! What shit!!!!

Sunday, shitballs Sunday, surfed and then played a hilarious day of 80's drinking tennis, where I got so shitfaced whilst swing a cat gut racket around, and funny I am only remembering this now, but a girl playing lost her top whilst executing a perfect forehand, hell steath, its a record weekend for boobs! Hooray! We all congregated at the posh Umhlanga Rocks bar (Elements) for the wrap up and lucky draw in our 80's lumo tennis garb, to I shit you not, Brad Pitt sitting at the bar...I thought it was a joke, but pukka as nuts it was the dude! Huh, he must be here adopting kids or something humanitarian.

Today is Monday and congrats to DT(http://www.dancefloortragedy.blogspot.com/) who got a new job, check out her words of joy! ( I still cant do that link thing in a word, I dunno, just dunno)

S.

2008-09-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Me surfing that big day in Dirtbin...cool, got this today from a random oke.

Thank FUCK its Friday, shit balls, today has crawled like queing for a new ID book in sweltering dirtbin heat. Gawd I am over my job, mindless, passionless and cheap. Time to start making the big bucks, so my thinking of thinking of leaving, has turned to when and how to leave. Lets see what comes of this, I am thinking of starting my own thing, its the only way to make serious money, and have freedom of choice. Yes, yes, gulp.

My ex has totally freaked me the fuck out, since THE INCIDENT, I dont want to be in a social setting for fear of total fucking meltdown, crabsticks, she has gone dilly as crack addict in a downtown bar with no needles!

At least its the weekend, at least, phew.

S.

2008-09-25T00:13:00.000-07:00

What a weird, freaking crazy public holiday, I have to say that I am shell shocked to the core...

Firstly my roommate is turning into a woman, he chides me not spending time with him and not going to the pub drinking, I don’t want to get pissed in a pub, I want to enjoy my day’s hangover free. I enjoy a good piss up now and again, but hitting a resturant/braai/poker/any other socially chilled thingy mabobee with a bunch mates is more my vibe, period. Hitting clubs, shaking ass, shooting jager bombs, hand grenades and tequila's are rad every now and again, not every Friday and Sat. Although my roomies, wants me walk into a club/pub, chat to me, until he starts rubbing up a sweet young thing, which is fine with me, he must just start doing it on his own. Most times I end up having a thrash, meeting new peeps, seeing old mates or just chatting to randoms, BUT I just hate hanging like dogs nuts the next day, when I want to do shit. And ol' Red (roomie) takes this personally and sulks, that I am not hanging with him, he now has a vagina, and is on the rag (with me)...

On Tuesday night the ex GF did something so horrific, so Jerry Springer, it was actually seriously insane. I hope realizes what she actually did in her drunken stupor, that she calms down and gets out of my life.

On the other hand, I had a super day on Wednesday, surfing, lunching and riding with mates, it was radical. Freak I dig little sneaky public holidays, makes you appreciate time, friends, little things, food and change. Back to the slog now, tippity tap tippity tab on the computer! BLAH

S.

2008-09-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

The stupid shit I do, this what i went out in this morning...

Its kinda like a Friday today, not much work is going to get done today (that’s just reality), what is not reality is work, work plonkers want the world but are not willing to come to the party with the moola. FerFukSakes, no wonder their is so much corruption in SA, people just wants want is due...OK ok, not like R400 million, that some overachievers embezzle. Rant rant, tomorrow is a public holiday, stoked!!

Ex-GF is still emotionally guilting me, its actually getting out of hand, how did I not see this side of her personality whilst all loved up, she just hounds me, SMS'ing about her day, how she feels, asking who I am with, have I been with anybody...etc etc, its been 4 months that we have been over, crumbs I understand emotion, that woman are from Mars, but is Mars THAT much different to the men on Venus (or is it the other way round). Hell I want to get on with my life and shit...

This morning I went for a surf, get rid of the work and ex frustrations and the surf was but pumping, 6ft+ (that’s like double overhead a normal person), heavy and exciting. I got my fix of perspective, cause when you dropping into a dredging monster wave, getting sucked under and almost drowning (this is what happened), you kinda don’t mind life when you make it to shore...

I think it was life reminding me that I don’t have shit too bad, perspective we all need it.

Have a super Day Off, its national braai day and Heritage day in one, hit it hard!

S.

2008-09-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

Monday morning, what a pile of ass...I had a jaunt in CT this weekend to look see, hang out with some old mates. What chilled time, we hung out at resturants, chilled on the beach at "Duds", I bumped into a surfing buddy, he had an extra board, had a surf in boardies....FUUUUCK IT, that was a stupid idea, it was freaking cold. BRRR, I had to warm my jangoolies over an open flame to make the guy come out of his hole, I was a tranny for a sec, damn that was scary!

I saw the movie "Taken", shit sakes, a hectic ass movie, there was no hype, so I didnt really expect anything. Well I was knocked outta my seat, damn good, go and see it!

CT the Euro South Africa, where some guys get more dolled up than the girls, the girls have enough attitude to win a World Cup, and the drinks so expensive it makes you cringe every time you pee it all out!

S.

2008-09-19T04:44:00.000-07:00

I was told to write 5 things about South Africa that I love, I dont think its what you want to hear though:

1) When i was in Australie for an extended stay, the thing that drove me MAD was the homogenous culture an thinking of the masses, I love our originality, the patchwork of cultures and all the craziness the ensues when they clash or get mixed, good, bad and ugly moments of cultures clashing has made this country what it is. Will Zuma, be the good, the bad or the ugly?

2)Lifestyle, gawd, I have it great in Dirtbin, I wake up at 5:30, head down to the beach, surf it up for an hour, have some breakfast & coffee, whilst chatting to mates and then off to work, where else in the world can you do this?

3)Corny as a Ouma Rusk, but I dig the Sharks (rugby), its so cool to hang out pre & after the game tailgating on the outside fields of Kingspark stadium, getting sot faced and shooting the breeze with your mates, awesome!

4)Roots, my family have grown up in KZN, farmed the land, for four generations, you cant beat that. There is so much history, I really dont feel like being forced to live somewhere else.

5)SA woman, you are classy, elegent and beautiful, not scared to get a little dirty, we share common accents, you understand South Africanism's, are. I would like to marry a SAFFA Lass and be very happy chappy one day.

Well, enough of that, i have had a shit week at work, and I am not sure that I want to be in the position that I am. Thus I am off to CT for an exciting little weekend, who know's.

Have a cracker w/end, DT you porno fluffy feet chocoholic have a smashing one!!

S.

2008-09-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

Fucking great time away, i was in reunion island checking out retail stores, helping our distributoe set up his business, we worked crazy hard, but got to eat and surf the crap out of the place. Couldnt speak a word of French but I got by, hung out with the local flyers, got shit faced on EXPENSIVE red wine, had a girl flash her titties at me, most importantly indulged in some of the most beautiful scenery ever!

Then flew to Mauritius to do much of the same, sort out our conterfeit problem there, but once surfed my boobs and arms off, gawd, it was good. Wish, I could still be there, but alas all good must end to make you appreciate...damn freaking shite face!

check out some of these pics, makes you want to become a hippy and eat coconuts and shit!

S.

2008-09-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

Check out this Crazy Ass Mac Daddy that I saw at the EA Rockfest in Jozi on Saturday night, I mean WTF makes people do this, he must have been on one hella LSD flashback, Y Fronts n' all!

Have a cool day.

S.

2008-09-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

Remember the song: Sunscreen by Baz Luhrman, my old man played it for me ages ago, I heard it again today, shit its poignant! Read the words if you cant listen to it, good advice for any generation!

P.S. FUCK I want to strangle one of my collegues, thsi bitch on wheels thinks she is God or Godlike...time to ignore and think of her falling into a pit of sharp stakes and snakes, yes...that will make smile.

================================
Baz Luhrman - Sunscreen Speech
================================

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ?9...Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...Youre not as fat as you imagine.

Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Dont feel guilty if you dont know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.

Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont, maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...dont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument youll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

49 second break in speech -- Quindon singing

Get to know your parents, youll never know when theyll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful who advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

2008-09-02T02:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, I have been away for weeks and now on Friday I have to go to Mauritius and Reunion for a tortuous 2 weeks of work :)

I have been so down about where I am going, I am not enjoying my colleagues at work, they all seem so superficial and the backstabbing type, one person in particular is such a bitch, arrogant and evasive and makes everything so difficult, I have tried to get along, but something tells me that she actually enjoys making life difficult, she gets off on it. To be honest it has drained me, I have tried not to care, but I just don’t want to work with people like this. I am thinking of thinking about leaving.

The whole ex episode has really also beaten me down, I was in CT about a week or so ago, and had a whoppa of a night with clients etc; I wake up to 10 messages on my phone. Crap balls I think someone/something bad has happened, I grab the phone listen to the messaged to hear garbled/crying noises on all, I decipher what is kind off going on: My ex is accusing me (through tears) that I didn’t defend her honor at a braai, someone talked bad about her and I didn’t say anything to that person. I didn’t even hear her name brought up the entire braai, let alone have a chance to defend her good name.

I put the phone down, with a bemused expression on my face, to find that the phone is ringing again (unknown number), I pick up, expecting a work call, its a lawyer, wanting to instruct me that my ex had opened up a case of defermation of character, for not defending her at the braai, WTF!!!!! I was on the phone for 30min to the lawyer, who I enlightened that this is a joke of a case, she agreed in the end. WTF, WTF WTF!!! Can I say that enough... the craziness of how my ex is reacting confirms that we should be over. This whole thing has numbed me!

I am stressed to the hilt! I was at my Mom's last night, I had to stay there as she is off to Spain for a vac (luck you MUM), and she complained about my Dad and his Floozie, and money, and life...I actually had to stop her and ask to not carry on as my brain could not take/contain any more problems or worries, I used to be the most happy go lucky guy, that part of me feels like its slipping away.

I need to get it back, I need me back, I need to laugh more, I need a break...

S.

2008-08-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

I know now that drinking has a massive effect on me, for days afterwards I feel like a perpetual cloud hangs over me. When I don’t drink, I have huge pep, zest and go around feeling all happy go lucky. When I tear it up, I am shattered for days; I think its time to moderate that shizness...

I am a massive binge drinker, I don’t socially drink, but when the boys hang it out, I go large. This is no way to do it, responsible and balance is the order of the day! Hell the booze is not a problem, and its not that I drink a lot, I just over do it when I do, and feel poo after for days. Just to clarify I am not a bad boozed up chappy, I get very sociable and dance like an 80's has been, but def not sloppy. I just want to feel good, and be a happy chappy...

That being said, cheese and rice, I have been copping a thick ear from my ex, due to our romantic interlude (graveyard), it brought up old feelings, and even though it was comforting and awesome to hang, I don’t see us getting back together, thus must stay far away, and let us get some distance, before hopefully becoming friends.

We (me) all try and find balances in our life, it’s hard, but I am trying.

S.

2008-08-12T07:05:00.001-07:00

On Mon night it seems I drank every damn beer and shot in every joint we went too, and now I have just recovered sufficiently from my brain dead state to write this entry...celebrations of our range launch got very out of hand, we were thrown out of numerous whisky house and bar we frequented, hell'steath, that was a big one. I was funneir and more handsome than I have ever been that Monday night, booze really is amazing like that.

Nevertheless, tuesday was a whore at work, a dirty ugly whore and she didnt let up, the worst part was that I had to go to dinner with Dad and Floozy and all her kids, I swear I feel like I am not even part of a family anymore, Dad is still Dad, but I dont feel part of a family, that sucks serious ass, cause we were so tight once, life goes on, though.

Annnddd now its wednesday, and catching up with all the shit I didnt do on Tuesday...I feel like packing it all up and fucking off to a deserted island and living like the lost people.

S.

2008-08-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

What a pert little guy, aww you beauty...

A week of weirdness has circulated around me, I feel really calm though, like I am in the eye of a storm. I don’t know if I blundered or did the right thing by hooking up with Ex-GF, we parleyed in a bit of graveyard monkeybiznezz.

Although the actions of impulsiveness have raised some pretty pertinent questions, should we or shouldn’t we? Ex-GF has sorted out a lot of her shit, although still exudes a heart with a lack of understanding, she is a phenomenally beautiful woman, with a sharp disposition, although the stubbornness of her nature, holds me back. I am not jumping into anything and am on the back foot, I will let and see where the wind blows me…

The other weird shite, that has been going down is that we are launching our Winter 09 clothing, footwear, sporting & accessories lines to all the big chain stores, agents, directors etc and all the busy bees have been going fucking dilly, and through it all I have been super chilled and have not been caught up in all the craziness. Not that I don’t care, actually I don’t care, its fashion, and its all bullshit, being in the biz, I see the veneer of all of it all. Starry eyed little wannabes fly through the offices ogling the racks of uber fashion, and I see what I use to see through their eyes, I am not jaded, just realistic now, in my yonder years…Gawd! I have no intentions of wanting to live on an island with a million dollars, I enjoy what I do, I just see through the marketing baloney, and see people for the every day superheroes that they are.

Another exciting little soiree that I enjoyed was the SA showjumping, I watched these honeys on horses gliding through the air, in their tight jodhpurs it was better than the beach with girls in bikinis, thank poo I bought my shades, cause I was perving my eye’s out. Jodhpurs, now that’s a fashion silhouette I can get excited about!

Adios, I off for a surf.

S.

2008-08-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

A stencil of me...

After my horrible drinking binge, I decided its time to get my summer bod back, damn sociol convention and rippling abs! I hit the beach at 6am, ready to rock n roll a surf and then pound the pavement later on in the arvo. Pity the surf did not comply with plans and the sea was on its head, as I was contemplating what to do, a professional surf team rolled in for morning training, a couple of them are mates, and invited me to join.

Training consisted of:
2km run on the beach
45 push ups
90 sit ups
20 squats - instead of weights at the gym, you pick up your partner on your shoulders!
30 Lunges

Sweet melons of love, my calves cramped on the run, I had to stop and stretch, I am hopeless at sit ups, and now am so stiff I am walking like an old man with rickets or some other dibilatating disease that attackes the very muscles that allow you to move like human being.

I am screwed!

Another highlight, is that I was offered sex, unadalterated strings free sex, and I siad no, when I feel like jumping back on the horse, I can do it myself, with someone that I choose (hopefully they agree). I just dont feel like getting in bed with anyone, I am having to much fun, without things getting messy, cause sex alway fucks everything up. Even thoughI get super horned up at times, it passes.

(my penis interjects)fuck you phone that poontang - you should have gone with that sex...damn you, daaammmmnnnnn yoooouuuu!

At the moment my top head rules my life, not the bottom one.

S.

2008-08-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

It really does drive the ladies crazy, ashamedly I think I dance like an 80's pop star...

Now that was a Craic weekend, I had a surprising call from a wonderful couple from Ireland, whom I met whilst surfing in J-Bay. I offered my place for them to stay if they ever passed through Dirtbin, they did pass and they did call.

Team Irish (TI), myself and Red, decided that we needed to hit the town and throw some tail on Friday night, we blazed a dinner at billys, whilst chin-wagging about TI's 10 month around the world surf trip, they regaled us with stories from New Zealand, hippies from Canada, cops in Mexico, and finally how SA is the best country they have been too, because of our generous hospitality, abundance of great waves and the luxury of converting Euros’ to Rands. It made me feel proud to be a SAFFA! They had never been to a casino, so we sped to the tables, and the Irish luck continued to astound me, from R100 they made R1700, whilst I lagged behind with coming out square, we then celebrated by buying champagne and drinking the bubbly all night long, I was on my plonk, dancing like a demented being, doing my signature "pop" move, did you watch last nights MNET movie, my roomie RED reckons I dance like Hugh Grants character Alex Fletcher, with his gammy sexy hip "POP", it works and I had the ladies frothing to get near me, I was throwing out the vibe, or so I thought, damn that champe's is like a hallucinogenic!

Saturday we gingerly arose and chilled out making pancakes, hit the surf and watched the Ozzies getting DRILLED by the Kiwis, after which I had a date with the Races. I attended the Gold Cup in Durbs, my boss big Cheez, invited me, I needed to create an impression that I could bet, and thus he could bet on me, in the business sense...sad to say that I am no gambler, and my donkeys all came in stone last, I resorted to drinking with my good mate WALK THE DOG, she and I banged our gums about sexual exploits, and was shocked to hear that woman (or some - do all?) are as horny as men...this was a titillating experience that got me hellava hot under the collar! Walk the dog and I laughed off the naughtiness and chatted the arvo away whilst klapping the G&T's. By 5pm, I was on my ass tipsy again, off to a pub for night cap for a friend’s farewell and all a blur, I think I bust out a "POP" just for shits, as a request from the many ladies, the screamed, I signed a few boobs, for the fans, everything for the fans.

Sunday, I was hurting! I sent the Irish off, and decided that lately I have gone way overboard, and need to get back into shape, summer is coming and I need to look good in a speedo. So Monday is get into shape for speedometer day!! Fuck!

S.

2008-07-30T01:53:00.000-07:00

Bill has the hottest mug in town

I avoid admin like the plague, to the point where if it is too much of a hack, I will just lie down and die (if it came to the end of SA, and I had to go through the admin of being a refugee or something hugely dramatic like that).

So with all the dread in the world I go and get ID photies done for an overseas trip I am taking, I head to the dodge ID photo dude, a ratty place in DBN CBD, and zap, it takes two seconds, happy days...the thing with ID photos, is that you always look like dog shit, like a bored ass mofo too, they should let you have cool backdrops or something like that. I hate admin, and now I can say that I hate ID photos, HATE! I am going to exercise my tits off, and get the best ID photo image I can duplicate it 1000 times and use that forever, then I can let go of myself, eat like a pig, drink like fish, and be a fat bastard, but I will have the world’s hottest ID photo....

Here's a question do girls put make up on, do there hair and all that shit for their ID mug shots?

Last night was SupA DupA, I hung out with T_Bone and her connection The Prawn (killa bod, but throw away the head - Ha ha) and watched Juno, what an awesome movie.

S.

2008-07-29T03:24:00.000-07:00

Cool huh?
It is tough having a splintered family, last night I had dinner with my Pops and his floosie, and last week had din dins with Mum, they just cant get along...Mum is a riot, and we drank wine and ate at a average place with average food and laughed our tits off and she tried to set me up with the waitress, she is speaks 4 languages, has oodles of mates, and helps AIDS patients in the valley of a thousand hills in KZN, so yeah kinda like superwoman, although is terrible with cash, cause she gives it all away, serious...she is always offering me money. Oh and she finds time to belly dance and give her mates massages, WTF ~ yeah my moms a masseuse, classy! Dad is a generous ol' pops, he is serious, phenomenal with figures, money and not saying much, although is happy too dispense advise about leaving SA, move to Oz he says, go now, NOW, NOOOWWWW - kinda freaks me out the whole OZ thing, weird, wired up fuckers that side. We had dinner at a fancy place and communicated through sign language and quirky eye glances, floosie ate all the expensive shit.

Hell it sux, but you cant help and wonder what the two of these amazingly talented people saw in each other in the first place? I mean, I wish I could go back in time and see the courtship process, was my old man a crazy young thing, or my mum a dour sock knitter that raved at night? What makes the dynamics of a relationship, what makes the timing right, cause we always evolving, right? So what works now, might not work in 2 weeks time. Is that why you have to change together, how do you do that, communication I suppose...fuck, I am getting mixed up here.

Bottom line is that the fogies, digged having dinner with me in their own weird way, I digged spending time with them. On occasions like birthdays/Xmas etc family is the most important thing, no matter what form, shape or dynamic it comes in.

S.

2008-07-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

So I promised to fill y'all in on last weeks Eastern Cape tour, but didn’t, was super busy, those times where you have just put your head down and klap it! But last week went kinda like this:

On the Monday my PA books me on the red eye, damn I tell the lass not the red eye flight and I get the red eye flight...pick up a rental car in East London and cruise seeing customers all the way to George. The drive is insane beautiful!! East London is all rivers, hills and sea (my dream place), and then onto PE (Not for me, but cool), I stopped off in J-Bay, watched some guys surfing, it’s a natural wonder that place, did you know that J-Bay is considered one of the top 10 surf spots in the world. Then off to Plett, this is where I could live again, I stayed in the best BB, The Tarn Country House, the owners/managers Francois & Henna were the raddest young couple, we drank beer, shot the breeze and I got bumped up into the top suite. François is a self trained chef, which cooks the most insane dishes, that night I ate shark pasta, the best damn pasta, I ever have eaten. Then I blazed my way down to George, where I had a run in with a BB owner, he wanted me to pay upfront a day earlier for the accommodation (after 4 phone calls), food and drinks that I was going to eat. I disagreed on the stance that I had not received anything, so did not want to pay in full (was glad to pay a deposit0 for something that I had no received, the guy then proceeds to lecture me on business practice, I mean I am going to be his guest, and he is berating me. He asks, so "will I be staying then?” At this stage I did not want to give this idiot any business. I was just blown away by some people business egos, the big wheel turns my friend, anyway don’t stay at Lands End in Vic Bay George, Vic Bay though is one of the most unique places, I saw whales breaching, surfers surfing, dolphins frolicking, it was like Eden.

So that’s that, and then came the weekend this last weekend, for my 30th birthday. Sweet melons! We tried to ring crap out of it, we hit Southbroom on Friday night, and broke into stride with old mates, and chilled, banged our gums about current/old times, mocked our mates, it was really cool, all whilst in the process of getting sculled out of our minds.

The ol' drinking games eventually bore its horrific head and well that was the start of the end of comatose me, we hit Pistols pub after, I love that place for its brutal honesty about pubs, provide bar, toilet and do what you want after that. I was out of control, dancing with old tannies, running around like a madman, met new best friends, found and lost brothers, I saw pictures the next day that I begged to deleted, but will probably fond their way onto Facebook, damn, damn, I looked hammered, but HAPPY to be inebriated!

Saturday, I gingerly rose, for some reason I am an irritating morning person, up I got, packed surf boards and off with two mates to hit the surf, cool surf a bit of a wake up shake up, then a huge fry up! We lay in the sun, reading, chilling...this continued until the beer hounds pounced and upped the anti, Sat ended up much like Fri, just a different venue, we hit Margate which was teeming with advertising execs from the Leorie awards!

I am shattered and treating today in recovery mode. Happy days, I will never drink again!!

S.

2008-07-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

trippy
I have just returned from an epic journey that took me along the entire garden route, it was work based, so not all holidays. I found time to "bunk" and do some cool shit, more importantly when you on your own, you meet the most fascinating people. I literally have just got back, I will catch up some work and tonight fill you all in on "my incredible journey"...fly falko fly!

Crazy.

S.

2008-07-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Another random image, cool huh?

Family, love them or hate them, they are there for life.

My Mom & Dad, split about 10 years ago, a terrible dissolution, that ripped the heart and soul out of a once idyllic little family unit, lets not cry about spilled milk, these things happen, and I am not the only child from a broken home... no boo hoo's on this end. Dramas between the folks have become a way of life for me, and for some reason, I have become the conduit between Ma & Pa, not the best position when you want peace, although at the same time for them to get along.

Right insert the problem (this time), My 30th birthday is looming, hence the dilemma, how do you fit one Dad, Dads floosie, Mum (sad mum who still loves Dad), a Sister, HUGE loser husband of sister, sisters kids (adorable kids) at one table - try and start a meaningful conversation, that is not about the weather...

Conversations Dad's Floosie can have with Mumsy:
Cooking recipes
Dad’s bedroom antics (vomit)
How Floosie destroyed Mumsies garden when she moved in
Floosie telling Mum, that our lifetime maid Celia stinks (Floosie bought Celia soap, washing stuff and ordered her to shower one day - WTF!), Mum loves Celia, stink n' all - for the record she does not pong...maybe a little.

Conversations I will have with Loser Husband of sister:
What is the latest video game on the market - sorry sorry home entertainment game...my bad!
Oh you scored 1264, on Masters of Doom 3, Loser you my hero, can I give you a handjob?
Oh, you didn’t pay for anything again, and my Dad had to pay AGAIN, lets all celebrate, because this is never going to change....cheers, what a loser!

..CHRISTMAS!!!! This is going to be bad!!! This is how I am probably going to celebrate my 30th with my fam dam, great huh, wouldn’t change it for happy smiles, an awesome toasting session, swapping of funning antidotes...no, no, this is how I roll - cue tearing out hair, and fake smiles...God, I don’t care.

WHATS IS COOL, is what I doing with 20 of my OB ONE CANOBIES (mates) over the weekend for my 30th, all heading down to Southbroom for the weekend post the exciting fam dinner, and drinking, dancing, catching up, shooting the breeze, hanging out, and doing nothing...that’s kinda cool.

ANYHOOO...my bloggAfrenzic new pal www.dancefloortragedy.blogspot.com wants me to give 7 interesting facts about me, seeing as she is my one and only blogAsphere friend-E-Poo, I don’t want to let her down:

1) I miss my brothers (X2) in London super bad.
2) I have always wanted to do a design course.
3) I love reading and devour books, especially ones of random normal people, who do normal extraordinary things.
4) I enjoy meeting new people and discussing serious/intimate issues with them.
5) I have a porn movie hidden in my cupboard
6) My first job was working at Spur - I enjoyed it!
7) I have always wanted a tattoo but would never get one.

S.

2008-07-17T01:29:00.000-07:00

I have just been keen to use this image, becuase its beautiful.

So I have been travelling like a mUtHaFukA, all over the place, I have just got back from a cold and wet CT, there was snow on all the mountains flying in, quite beautiful actually!

When i got home, i zonked onto the couch, and realized how tired I am, this time of the year and season, you feel drained. Maybe its me, but I jumped into bed early and just could not keep my eyes open to read 1 page of my book (Bob Dylans Autobio by the by, great read), next thing I am woken up to two bergies, killing each other on the street, screaming like banshee's, I thought the fricken end of the world had arrived...I just gritted my teeth and went with the flow.

Everyone is asking whatts on for the w/end, and to be honest, I havnt even thought that far, work is oppressing and I am feeling the pinch of singledom, I need to get out of this slump, I swear girls avoid newly single guys for the fear of being the "rebound", no no, what we really want is meaningful attention with lots of sex, and minimal conversation, I should buy a blow up doll.

S.

2008-07-14T00:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, so a long week in Jozi, but was awesome to see some old mates, hang out and freeze my goolies off! Hell's Teeth, it was cold in JHB!!

I walked passed a water feature and the thing was frozen, WTF! So worked kinda hard all week, and then on Fri, called up some mates and we all went for Sushi at a cool little place somewhere in region of JHB and greater Gauteng, I don’t know where the hell I am when I am on the plains of Egoli. Gorged on sushi, GAWED I love the stuff, and then chilled over a beer or two, drove over to a mates and watched a movie, on the way home, things really hotted up (cause up to this point shit was quite boring, which I was in the mood for). Drive, drive, drive - flashing lights, "pull over", we hear, no worries, law is law, so we pull over.

Here's the kicker, I am driving Goddess's automatic, my foot lunges for the clutch to find the break, the car skids to an immediate halt, sending the copper on a major swerving action to avoid my asshole...cool, not cool for copper mike, who jaunts over to my jam jar, with a very pissed off demeanor! Get out he choons, out I get, license, I hand it over, you drunk he says, no I am not I say, I blow into his booze tester thingy majigy, it says 0.00, I blow again, 0.00 again, I blow again, 0.00 again...Prick face Mike turns around and presses a few buttons on the booz thingy majigy, he turns to me and says that I am over, the machine now reads 0.05, I am going to arrest you, he says, WTF! I say, then Copper Mike drops the bomb, I WILL arrest you unless we can make a deal...I realize quickly what he wants, how much I say? R100? Make it two hundred Mike says!
Flashes of what I should be saying zoom through my mind, although the constant is saying: he can hold you in chookie for nothing over the whole w/end, FUUUCCKKKK, he has me by the short and curlies, I pay him, and swear later a LOT in the car on the way home.

I mean, the corruption was so blatant, this kind of culture stems from the top down, I would freaking hate to know what other kinds of major corruption occurs at the top of government...people must be skimming million and billions. I just feel sorry for the man (kinda like me) who believes in the infinite good in people, its just a downer, when people like Mad Mike lets you down. The bog wheel turns Mike, it turns.

So Friday night ended in a cock up, no fuss, move on, flew home to Dirtbin, jumped into the flyer and headed straight down to the fam dam who was down the South Coast of KZN for the w/end, WOW what a house we were staying in, glass house looking over the sea, I chilled the shit out, no booze, just food, more food and the odd surf, purrrfect! Sunday was the same, so no crazy shit!

I had a cool little surprise late Sunday, it was delicious!

Adios BIAATCH's.

S.

2008-07-08T01:34:00.000-07:00

Remember I told you that I shot (with a spear gun) a Garrick, well Taa Daa the pic, now it was the first time that I had been spear fishing, although I have been Cray fishing for yonks. I shat myself, cause I didn’t know if any Sharks were going to be attracted by the manic thrashings of the fish, as well as the blood coming out…I high tailed it out of there ASAP, much to the amusement of my mate, who continued to pot the schools of fish, AND MISS!!! HA HA!!

Much ado about that, post weekend blues has set in a little, the bruises internally (liver) and externally (falling off a Motor Bike continuously) seem to be healing, and levels of feeling a little lonely have escalated, mmmm is this what it feels like to be single?

Anyhoo, planning for Jozi work trip to little razzling on Fri, so that should be radical…

S.

2008-07-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

All night (and day) long, all night long...

Like all great rock songs, you have to mix whole lotta booze, beautiful woman in skimpy outfits doing outrageous things and gang of bad boys wearing leather and holding beers! I was a bad ass this w/end....a biker bad ass!

I took Friday off, cause I just didn’t want to work, I went up the North Coast with some mates and went off road riding, shit balls, they took me on a ride my ass will never forget, 5 and a half hours later, my nuts feel like they were still vibrating a day later, and my ass will forever be indented by the seat pattern! We rode up mountains, through rivers, I am the jedi knight of enduro MX riding, I am so sore, mother Theresa could not bring me back to life. THANK GOODNESS for beer, it brought me back, miracle stuff, after the ride, sucking back on the brewski's, feeling as manly as anything my sores and wounds (I fell a LOT) healed themselves, like a mystical superhero, I healed myself. GAWED I felt good!!

The next day, I needed twenty types of different colored pills to get out of bed, I was dead, sore and dead, did I say dead, dead! But like any rock star the show must go on, Off to the DBN July to ride another bony horse into the starting gates and with that any money that I put down on a horse (I lies, I won), seeing mates that I have not seen in years, my eyes (myyyyy eeeyyyyeeesss!!!) popping out of my head, at the beautiful buffet of woman, in the most wonderful assortment of attire, then BANG, I bump into the ex, who looked like heaven had dressed her, my god she tormented me! We ended up having a good chin wag, and sorted out some issues in a good healthy setting, RAD! Back to boozing, back to a fading memories, due to a booze induced frontal lobe, good times!! I do remember having a life saving pizza a Spiga D Ora, if you in DBN you have to have a Mafioso pizza there, sweet tits its good!

Sunday, aagghhhh, headache deluxe, I peeled myself off my bed, and packed a bag, I had a surfing day, watched, surfed, caught some crayfish, went to a braai, ate meat and cray's and watched the most thrilling Wimbledon final ever with a bunch of good mates...Not a shabby w/end huh??!!

Time to rest a tad now!

2008-07-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

Don’t you hate when you go though the motions, kinda like floating through the airs and graces of feeling like shite, agghhh. The wheels are turning, but nothing else is kinda there.

Wanting to talk to people, but feel like nobodies listening, is that why we get into relationships, because the other party has to listen? I need to get into the water and bust out a surf, I haven’t been in for a few days. I think that this is due to work, I have been putting in a lot of hours with the work peeps, and I need to get back to my world, my friends, not fake smiles, and how many sugars...

Fuckers, I hate my work today, I wish I could start a business with my best mates, or work for myself, my ideas, my days, my wheel!

Fuck it, back to the coal face...it is going to happen, Ill do it my way!

S.

2008-07-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

Some of Banksy's new shit, this guy is a stencil artist extrordinair! This is social commentary at it's best, has anyone met the man...After buying a house and not adding much art to it, I think that I am going to give stencil art a bash, I will let y'all know how it turns out, cause I am a appreciater of art, never actually created anything but finger paint and a massive mess. Here goes...

Art or vandalism...gets people talking at the very least.

S.

2008-07-01T02:35:00.001-07:00

There is a big surf contest on at the mo, and part of my job is looking after professional athletes of which some are surfing in this event, which means I have to hang out at the contest site...at the contest site, there are beautiful girls of every nationality, wearing nothing, YES nothing. Well if you count string between cracks something, then yes they are technically wearing something...

Now the problem with being single or my problem with me being single is that I want to take opportunities when they present themselves, and trust opportunities have presented themselves, buuuut, I SUCK!!! I don’t want to be a whore, I can’t believe I am saying this, I want to meet someone (in time), that is beyond cool, that incorporates coolness, intelligence and beauty into oneness!

AAAGGGHHHHH, it’s tough, cause the male lion in me wants to eat. I will train him to be a vegetarian for now.

ROAR.

S.

2008-06-30T01:45:00.000-07:00

Whoaaaaa, what a weekend, I cracker JackA, well kinda.

As I disclosed, I was playing in a drinking tennis tournament, held by a division of our work, I crashed the party, cause I have a devastating backhand. I made it too the semi-finals and in glorious form, was too drunk to see the ball, they had these super hot ball girls in the tiniest damn garb ever. Now being the single lad that I am and seeing that its been about 3 or 4 weeks I have done the dirty, well UMMMM my eyes were popping out of my head at these beautiful lithe gazelles rolling balls to me. This was a considerable distraction, that I had to remedy by drinking all SAB stock donated to the event, when SAB ran out, I moved onto some horrible local cider brand that burnt the roof of my mouth whenever I sucked some back, crap balls I got drunk, elegantly I would like to point out. I was in a philanthropic mood, so I gave some lass my glasses, they are now gone, for nothing too show (DAMN).

In my tennis get up (wig n' all), I cruise out to Taco Zulu, a mellow bar, and meet up with some hectic randoms, whom I cut some girls hair off with a bread knife, WTF, yes I say again WTF!!! Shit balls, everything got hazy from there, never the less, I got home safe, don’t ask me how.

Saturday was hellava woozy day, due to the fact that I have never in my life ingested so much booze in one evening, hell I felt like shit! Nevertheless I still managed to fit in a dive, and would you know I shot a 7kg Garrick with a spear gun, we fried that up for lunch with some crayfish and VIOLA' a lunch for kings. The rest of the evening was spent with some mates playing Sing Star, jeeezzz I am crap at singing! Like a bunch of bagpipes with holes in, I was belting out some horrible tunes...

Sunday, on my back, on the couch, had a sweet surf, then on my back again. I love PVR, catch up the weeks TV!

I tell you boozing is the pits, the best when you on, but the pits.

S.

2008-06-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

Wicked cool.

Sheez n' rice, I am licking my balls today, I hung like a proverbial donkey (in the hungover sense)! Why is it, that whenever you hung, the workload in your life is tripled!! I dunno.

I played poker with the boys, always good for a laff, talk some smut, have a few drinkie poo's, a fag or three, and then feel shite for the next day, tip top!

I am off to play in a drinking tennis tournament, hair of the dog I say!

Have a cool w/end.

S.

2008-06-26T02:13:00.000-07:00

Bust it down Shaun - my buddy
Home Affairs/Licensing dept. in SA is an aborted horrible affair, the drama I went through to get a new license disk was haaa-uuuuuggggeeee! Never fear, I am all licensed up and rolling legally again.

This morning, I wake up for my morning surf, a chilly sexy sunrise dawned and I was stoked. I stroke up into the lineup, and sit next to this old dude. "What’s up", I say, "Hey", he says.... (some light goes off in my head)...Holy shit, that was Shaun Thompson, my boyhood surfing hero, sweet melons of fiery heavens. Don’t you just love being surprised; it’s the coolest times, YAY YAY YAY. Now I don’t get awed easily, I don’t care much for schleb culture, it’s all a veneer anyway, but this was cool.

He has this cool new movie that he is promoting its called "Bustin' Down the Door", its all about Surfing in the 70's, now that’s what I am all about, I dig the retro art and ways of surfing, it had a rebel/innovative quality to it, sadly which has been lost in the commercial push of the sport today, you can call me a hippy purist of Surfing and I will gladly wear the tag. Not that you guys care (hey DT, dig that you read and comment on my Blog - big up - let me know if understand any of this poor).

So was cool, meeting my hero.

S.

2008-06-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have not renewed my car license disk, and these sneaky poffadder metro cops, swoop onto my car whilst I am surfing and drop tickets on my windscreen. I mean, WTF!!!

It is totally my fault, I just don’t seem to find the time to head down to the license registration place, what a dumbass. But Metro cops are a bunch of tight assed, abused grumpy fucks - they just doing there job, 100%, but go and do it somewhere else! I am in the wrong, but I dislike them immensely...until I need them, gawd, I am fickle. Fuck it.

So ex-GF, has asked that I tell her, when I am with someone else, this is not going to happen any time soon, as I am still assimilating myself to the single life. Am I bound to tell her?

...ummm hi this is your ex-beau, yeah, I screwed some little honey last night.
...her name, I think it was Mandy, no wait, Sandy, I actually don’t know.
...So how is the weather, awesome huh...or how about dem Yankees, great season.

She would, cut my balls off and feed them to me, thus I don’t think this is wise, I just think to let me get over this hump, of feeling kak about the breakup and then just chill and wait for someone cool to come my way. It’s going to take time, and that’s all that I have at the mo. I am looking forward to hanging out with my mates more though, and meeting new and interesting people, that’s gonna be cool.

Adios,
S.

2008-06-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

Just a cool pic

So life is slooowwwllly going back to normal, I heard that ex-GF had phoned MiZZ B and they banged their gums about me, the conclusion was that ex-GF decided that she too was being psychotic, and would leave me to be for a while.

Whilst that being a moral victory for the mean time, it is SO weird being single, I don’t quite know what to do with myself? I can do the following:

Stay out as long as I want
Speak to whomever I want
Act like a complete moron
Make massive faux paus, and not get chastised like a petulant child
Make cool Mohawks in the shower
Read without being interrupted
Watch sport all night long - On that point, I was on telly last night...that’s right biatches, I am famous!

So I can do all the above, but don’t do any (well few), FUCK IT, I should break out and be the bad boy...buuut can bring myself to it. So I am putting my head down at graft and hoping that will bring me some degree of mental solace.

Fuck, have I changed. Maybe turning 30 in a couple weeks has something to do with the fact, that I have no need to go on a man whoring rampage. But more than that, is that the relationship that I have just exited, actually meant something, and that it not working has hurt.

Life goes on, though. That’s for fucken' sure!

S.

2008-06-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

Heavy, heavy weekend. If you are going to be a sad piece of poo, because a part of your life has failed, phone the troops, get out there and surround yourself with mates. Well, my mates were happy to have this guinea pig to throw around for the W/end. We started out in Jozi Friday night, with me going to Masters of Dirt Freestyle motocross show, it was work, but insane to watch, it was great to see so many peeps wearing and consuming the product which I work for, SO STOKED. But there are some freaks you attend these things!!

Masters of Dirt is a freestyle Motor cross event and basically is lunatics jumping their motor bikes & BMX bikes and breaking their bones. It was craassseee with the world’s best freestyle motor cross riders going absolutely dilly, crazy Pyrotechnics, hot slutty looking stripper type chicks acting like sex crazed lesbo’s hamming up the crowd, Bmx Riders, Freestyle Motocross Riders, Minibike Freestyle Riders, Quad Flippers. It was really interesting seeing all these moto/petrol head fans wanting to swamp the riders and pit sluts, I was in red-neckville and it was a cool retarded but different experience! These guys were like rock-stars!!!

Then the next day, pack up and hit Forest's 30th, we took Notties pub down to china town. I gloriously gorged myself on booze, fun, chin wagged my tongue dry with all mates that I haven’t seen in Yonks on yonks. Boys will be boys and a fight broke out, I was not involved I was too inebriated to care, but I went to go and lend a limp hand. All I found was both sides of fighting warriors weeping, the bouncer had sprayed pepper spray in all the guys’ eyes. They were all crying and holding on to each other, whilst swinging for the fence, hoping to connect anything. I promptly tried to push over these bent over weeping men, like a sleeping sheep/cow pushing over fest, I managed 2 or 3 before I had the bouncer chasing me with his gay pepper spray.

Needless to say, I felt like I had licked up all the club floor mix the next day, the drive back, I was crooning like a wounded buffalo! AAGGHHH, but well worth it.

S.

2008-06-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck...I am a sad sack, EX-GF has gone properly dilly, which I am desperately sorry about. I just need to ride it out and let her get all that anger out, let her direct it at me, let her find reasons to scream, I hope she gets through.

I feel as bad, but dont seem to want to kill. This is tough and has been a tough year, dealing with this dramZ. I hope (really) we can move forward in time.

HOPE.

S.

2008-06-18T02:33:00.000-07:00

Ever heard the term pear shaped, my personal life is fucking bell shaped, pear shaped, poo shaped! The straw that broke the camels back has turned into a galactic monster that is the most ridiculous monstrosity I have EVER seen!!!

I understand the term "a woman scorned", although for the first time, I have done nothing wrong, but be me (this may be the problem)...and to this end, I am taking more flak than a Japanese kamikaze pilot. Hell's-Teeth, woman go fucking bonkers, during a break up!!!!

AAGGHHH, people have weird ways of dealing with shit, and I do not exempt men, but woman go clinically nuts (a vast generalization, I know, but allow me this creative license in my situation)!

S.

2008-06-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

Perfection!

Room with a view!

What a beeyoootifil long weekend, the trip down to J-Bay, was fun filled with spectacular weather, walks on the beach, finding special shells, long dinners and everything cotchIness that you would find on cheesy dating sites. It was really cool, and one that I hope to do again.

If you ever go to J-Bay stay at a place called Beach Music (www.beachmusic.co.za), we had this balcony that overlooked Supertubes, so we were mesmerized by watching perfect waves and blue seas all day, whilst chilling reading mags and chatting about shite...! We had our own en suite b/room, although shared a communal kitchen, but was a huge score cuase we got to interact with a heap of international tourists. We met one couple from Ireland (Peas I get what you were saying about the accent, too cool!), we banged our gums away long into the night about SA/Ireland/Surfing etc.

It was an idyllic w/end break, although there was an undercurrent of politness and going through the motions, and a fight was always bubbling, for what reason I dunno'?

Then last night, bang it happened, another insignificant issue, BALLOONS into a fight fest of epic proportions.

A nasty spill to end a great weekend, the staw has broken this camels back...

S.

2008-06-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

The inside of my head is every shade of black and blue. Tiny bruises dent the inside of my jelly cerebellum, I am tired, hanging and I am confused as hell, and it’s the best and worst I have felt.

Last night, leaving work after a shitty day, dodging the affairs, stiff smiles and fake cordialities "the office", GF phones and goes fucked up dilly about her crappy day. I am just coming down from the sensory assault of bitchy co-workers, and now have to deal with GF's issues....FUCK! All I wanted to do was go for an arvo surf, do some clean turns and let the saltwater wash away the grimace of the day’s face, so I cut her short:

"Babe, can I chat to you later over dinner, as I want to go for a surf... (Oh fuck, what did I do, the demon of hate was unleashed)"

We boxed like a crips vs. bloods gang war, was pretty spectacular, oh dear. Well, it had to fucken happen, we are heading to J-Bay, so may as well get the fight over with before we go, right?

I went home, vented my tits off to roomy, and felt bad for cutting her off, as I should have cared more, BUT it was just bad timing, as I could not deal with any more reality , my reality cup had runneth over, I just needed a break, a fucking break from life and shit. She phoned to vent/project/whine/bitch at a bad fucken time!!!

We made up, and we are going to J-Bay tomorrow, I hope the peace treaty lasts, final straws this relationship...sad, confused and hopeful.

S.

Poo on life, remember the good times...

2008-06-12T02:12:00.000-07:00

What I hope to be doing...
With great delight I have been reading Pea's blog, I have not felt inspired in any way to contribute to my blog, let alone my life. Not saying that I don’t care, or have loser syndrome, I have just been pouring so m much energy into my new job (3 months into it) and starting my relationship AGAIN (its going...), and seeing family and mates, that I honestly have piss all time for myself.

The older you get the more responsibilities are piled on your shoulders, although don’t you get that feeling that you still are a kid, and that the feeling of being overwhelmed to the sense of nausea feels like you are being strangled, YET we always get through it. Freaking life, I love it, and yet work damn hard to enjoy it...what they say is taking the breaks to enjoy are so important to make you realize what all the shit that we go through is for.

That being said, GF and I are off (well I taking, no dragging) to J-Bay for the long w/end. I will surf to my hearts content, whilst I have rented a villa (hippy happy villa) that overlooks the surf break, for GF to read, and for us to be quite and play board games and swing in a hammock. I sincerely hope for our relationships sake that it ends up being as romantic as it sounds...cause every fucking time we get in a car for a long journey or go away we end up fighting like bitches for some insignificant issue...touché'

I hope we make love like dynamite going off in tight spaces, I hope that the waves are cooking (bru!!), and I hope we don’t fight (if we, this will truly be the last straw - and I tires of talking about the last straw!!)

So essentially I am SO looking forward to this w/end in SURF paradise, and it makes all the other life shit melt away for the short while.

I will write often for my HUGE readership of 2 (including me)

S.

Hellooo there dearie's

2008-06-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

So a case of abseteeism is always necessary to make the hear t grow fonder, and this kinda has been my mantra of late. I let everything go: girlfriend, myself, sport etc etc, and now have found everything again, and it all seems new and fresh, so all that I let go I put back in my life. Fuck, I became complacent, a fat, grunpy mofo, but now a fresh little pecker has emerged.

So with reckless abandon, I shall document all the fuckups, blotches, cotch upsa and sexed up maniac moments of my life...

STOKED BRA!

2008-04-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

I have just received a new surf board from my shaper, and have been spending a lot of down time in the water Surfing and chilling in that vibe. Its the most theraputic sport in the whole world. I could wax lyrical about the feeling, blah blah, but its just better to show it.

Check out some of these images and I hope that you can feel just a smidge of what I have in the last few days!

These shots are by talented photog Brian Bielmann.

2008-04-23T03:59:00.000-07:00

Surfing is such an amazing sport, today a competition ran in DBN called the Goodwave presented by Quiksilver. These guys wait for 11 months of the year for the best day of surfing and run a competition where one surfer who rides the best waves wins R75k, what a pleasure.

The thing that I love about this sport is the simplicity of it, the skill needed and the harmonious element of the sport with nature. Its also just cool to hang out at backline with some buddies and talk shit.

Watching SA's best surfers going mental on the best day of surfing in DBN is a pleasure! So hang five, hit the pearler curler, find the green room...cause I am at the beach today!!!!

S.

2008-04-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a lot lately, and this is one passion that will never get old...Last night I found myself reading until 2am, what a cool thing to do on such a cold night!

I also chased 6 mozzies around my room, I hunted those bastards down until every one was dead. Nothing is more painful than a mozzie buzzing around your ear until, 4am! Nevertheless I am useless and tired as hell today.

Above are some books that I am into, the Freakonomics one is crazy good.

S.

2008-04-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

You ca choose your friends, but not your family...it sometimes should be the other way round!

My sisters wedding celebration on Friday night was like a scene from the Blair Witch Project, deer in the headlight in-laws, whispers of conversation, Dad's new GF being possessive about him and his pad, Mum nervously making the best of out of the situation (dealing with Dad's new GF, not the wedding), stilted speech's, and me in the middle passing around booze attempting to lubricate a positive atmosphere. In the end, my sis became a respectable woman, and she is happy, that’s the bottom line isn’t it?

Saturday, was spend driving to the Prawn Shack to celebrate a mate Bulls Party, what a ho down, I tell ya'! In some instances I wish that you can choose not to be mates with some of your wild ass drunk, funneling friends. If you ever have a chance to go to the Prawn Shack on the KZn North Coast, do it, the food is mind-blowing, so was the chili come to think of it, blew my ass off! I was way to drunk to wax lyrical about the individual flavors, but it was good. They also had these shrimp tequilas, where you pour some Tequila into a shot glass, catch a shrimp from a tank filled with swimming shrimp, throw it in your tequila and BOMBS AWAY! I had an overwhelming drunk urge to save the poor shrimp, so I tried to steal the net used to catch the shrimp, thinking that the buggers will have more of fighting chance if a boozed up hand was trying to catch em, rather than a huge net. Eventually the net was beaten off me, and then I thought about stealing the tank and releasing the little guys, eventually I ate them...

I danced late into the night, drank enough for a rugby team (Afrikaans one nog al...), spoke loads of bollocks, and acted like a right idiot. That’s the recipe for a bull’s party, isn’t it?

The long drive home the next day was not cool, damn my eyes.

What a topsy turvy weekend.

S.

2008-04-17T03:34:00.000-07:00

Don’t you love these new age nuclear families, I mean, you have half brothers, quarter sisters, adopted guinea pigs and a hand me down dog. This is all getting to much for me. Then above it all my sister goes and does a Jerry Springer on me (bless her, its not that bad...)!

My sis, is getting married, when you hear this, you should be: Oh wow, that’s amazing! Not, choke on your food, and scream in a ghoulish manner that you are allowing bad genes to pervade your families happy little gene pond.

Ok OK, the skinny: My sister (K), is marrying RR, in a court ceremony tomorrow, I heard about this last night, she just sprung it on us. The Fam Dam, is in an uproar, trust K to do this, she is a pro at this, and it’s delicious. The perennial black sheep, I love her for that! Then she is having a piss up with her mates, we are all invited to this, but not the ceremony. Mum is having a complete meltdown, Dad and his new girlfriend are flapping, because K wants to have the piss up at the old mans place. It’s too cool, to even put into words :)

This is what families are all about, rallying around, squabbling and making the best out of every situation. I feel as though I am in some Disney holiday flick, at the end everyone hugs and there is a lesson to be learnt from all this: the sum of the parts (K, RR and the rest of the fam individuals) make the craziness that is our family!

S.

Fight the good fight!

2008-04-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

So a relationship like most issues is based on three hoekie kookie, her side, my side and the truth!

Late Monday night, I had not called GF, as we were on our "break", I asked for the break because I cannot stand the fighting, our relationship had degenerated into constant fighting, for nothing...So she called, and we had the most constructive chat! Emotions were put aside and we went through everything honestly and maturely, it was fantastic. We both realized that we are stubborn assholes, and that the external pressures of life had influenced our relationship, because we had become lazy at working at our relationship. WOW!!!! Takes some balls to admit that!

We have subsequently given it another go, concentrating on making time for each other, as well as time for ourselves.

AN ASIDE:
A mate of mine said something interesting, he told his GF when they got together, "Don’t distance your girlfriends, go to lunch, out etc.", what did she do, ...distance her mates. Why do woman do this, as soon as they hook a guy they focus all their time and energy on the chap, and don’t connect with their mates anymore. Connecting with your mates reinforces your independence, is that not why you fell for each other in the first place, because you liked the other person as they are. Now when the female (now don’t get me wrong some dudes do this too) drops her mates and attaches herself emotionally and physically to the guy, she changes, thus becoming clingy. The worst!

We all need time alone, time to remember who we are, although balancing this with your partner is the all important thing.

What I am trying to say, is that GF and I have come through this I hope stronger...our relationship was on the ropes, but the bell for the end of that round has rung and a second wind has entered, and we shall carry on the good fight!

S.

Madness of Love!

2008-04-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

Some of the saddest things in the world all start off with love, a whole lot of it, thats why if it ends it is sad. So you need the love to have the sadness...

This last w/end, I took GF off to a fancy hotel, dinner the whole shabang, and all we did was end up fighting, it was so bad I felt like cotching, just to do something else. My brain, felt like it was being stretched over a hot fire, and poked with barbed wire! I plan, spend all this money and it all falls apart, and the saddest part of all, no one is to blame. The relationship has just run its course, I think we still love each other, or the idea, no one has cheated, no one has lied, we just cant stop fighting, over everything. We are different people, that love each other and are killing each other emotionally.

We are on a break right now, its so fucking sad. When you fight like we have been, the emotional strain of the relationship pervades every part of your life, and its all you can think about.

I just dont want to see GF for a while, becuase I know if I do, we are just going to fight, and the worst thing in the world is that we were the happiest love struck (you want to puke on your shirt) in love! Now we just hate each other...

This sucks, cause I know that we have to break up for real, and we have to do it knowing that no one is to blame, knowing that we gave it our best shot, knowing that we have start again in the whole dating game. I think its easier when you find out your partner is screwing someone else (or something like that), so you can just hate them and tell them to piss off.

Well, this just sucks, the person I used to tremble at the thought of seeing, I dont want to be near.

aaaagggggghhhhhhhh

S.

Is Enuff, Enough?

2008-04-11T02:32:00.000-07:00

So its myself and GF's 1 year anniversary, evry month we have had these cheese ball monniversaries, they have actually been very cool. Something small to do for each other, small and as I said very freaking cheezy! If my mates knew I was doing this, I would be ragged to death, but I dont care, GF is worth it.

As is said, Love is a temporary insanity, through all the ups and downs of GF and I's relationship we have finally reached the 1 year mark, and I am about to spend a gross amount of money, on a beautiful hotel, dinner, champagne and all the frilly crap that goes with it...is this enough for her, we gonna find out????

S.

Is something in the water?

2008-04-06T23:14:00.000-07:00

I tell you something is in the water! As a surfer, we take chances every time we hit the sea for a session; we fend against the elements/currents/things from the deep... (Da dum da dum)/smacking into waves, sandbanks, rocks, other surfers and your own surfboard. Although the "stoke" is all worth the dangers, gliding down the wave, cutting a big turn, or getting a tube really is the best thing in the whole world. Although this weekend, some tragedies occurred, which makes you think of the dangers that we put ourselves at, for doing the things we love!

Two heavy things happened:
1) My friend ST klapped his head on his board, his board knocked him unconscious and he went under for 5 minutes (5 MINUTES!!!!!!), a fellow surfer pulled him out and resuscitated him for 30 minutes, until he came back from the light. He went into a coma. HEAVY, we all preying for ST.

2)A surfer I know, pulled into a barrel and got his head knocked on the sandbank and fractured his C4 vertebra, he is going for an Op this morning, so our prays are with him to.

Hells Teeth, this is some heavy shit, although let me tell you one thing I am comforted by life's stability. Where I had lost respect for the sea, I realize needs to be respected as with others in my life, not to take anything for granted: my health, love, family, friends, wealth (well what little I have) etc.

So rock out some love for whoever knocks your socks off, cause you never know when a surfboard or sandbank may jump out at you!

S.

2008-04-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

"Please sir can I have some more"
Can amnesia and Déjà Vu happen at the same time, I feel like I have stepped back into high school in my new current position, there are the little clusters of who's who and the slackers, and the cool kids, and the little different set, aaannnddd then theres me the amnesiac kid that has no FUCKING idea of whats happening! This little orphan is just trying to find his little niche, not knowing really who to side with, what to actually be doing, how to do it, not really understanding why the need for the absolute coolness and indignent demand for psuedo creative personalities to laugh at stupid things, being cool of course, always being cool, and then me floating around like a wet fart, laughing with them, and having no idea WTF everyone is laughing at...

Much like Oliver Twist, who toils with very little food (ME), remains in his workhouse for six months, until the desperately hungry Oliver decide to trembe forard to his master to make the famous request: "Please, sir, I want some more." [INSERT: "of your shit you bunch of freaking posers!!!!"]

I am following a rule of acting that a mate told me: First rule of acting, whatever happends, act like it was intended. And THAT my freinds is my strategy, is to act like I am earning my keep, but not knowing what the hell is going on, in the high school playing field that is life, hang below the radar before making your move!

S.

The New Guy

2008-04-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

So I started i-new-Work yesterday, like a puppy I lapped all the shit people through at me, slapped a smile on my dial and nodded like an incoherent ijit! Although surprisingly, I enjoyed the vibe that this new place emits, it’s kinda like a hot bed for young energy that knows how to have some fun, whilst working their knuckles to the bone!

I sat in on some meeting that could have been about the merits of a watery soup, although was all about fabricating garments, twirls VS. Rip Chord and Horizons of leather as a new substrate that is going to TAKE OFF! Buuut, with the raising Rand/Dollar exchange this might curb the trend, but the color Pewter is definitely in kids, rush out now before it’s finished!!!! Get the drift; I had no freaking idea, ITS WATERY SOUP TO ME!!

But rad people, def makes the learning easier and more fun.

S.

New Beginning

2008-03-31T03:57:00.000-07:00

Like a young calf in the wild, I am once again new, I start my new job tomorrow, with trepidation and excitement I will venture into something new, for the first couple days I expect to sharpen pencils and hope that the lions don’t get me. What’s crappy, and I am dreading is learning all the new systems, new people, new dynamics and have to study up on the internal political structure that every CC, INC & PTY LTD has...YAY, its gonna SUCK ASS. But I am looking forward to the new structure and ventures that I will be delving head first into, I am craving change!!

With all that’s going down right now, arranging the funeral with my Gran, dealing with all fam dam, that has come into town for the funeral, its all kinda crazy, like loco crazy. To be honest, I feel nothing about starting; normally you get the jitters, although lately life has been put into perspective through some heavy scenarios. I have made a conscious decision to tell the truth about all things me, and how I feel. I just have stopped caring about what other people think, in a good way, I am not going to "let myself go" or start mumbling to myself, scaring little kids or dressing up like a tranny on crack. I am just going to be more myself, and stop trying to please all and sundry for the sake of being nice.

On another front, GF and I had a cool intervention this w/end, it all started when I met some friends who had come back from the UK, we had some drinks and we all decided to go out, I phoned GF and told her I would pick her up in 30 min, well I took about 45 mins, she went fucking off the wall at me. We had an almighty fight, where she bought up all my previous misdemeanours. I had enough, stormed out, stormed back in, shouted, stormed out, stormed in, fought, made peace and then went out. FUCKED UP!!

We eventually got mature had a grown up conversation about our feelings and what was the matter, we faced our problems face on, with no emotions. It was bizarre to have conversations about all the crap stuff in a relationship, and it all sounded positive. It was like having a really expensive therapist in the room, I was super impressed with GF, and I realised why I fell in love with her in the first place. A nice surprise!!! We realised the whole time, that we were fighting for the same cause, and the whole time we were on the same page! Stupid and cool huh!

So now, I start new job tomorrow and bury Gran the next day, fucked up!

S.

2008-03-28T04:50:00.000-07:00

Half Full
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. It is dangerouse trying to rationalize one's emotions. Since the death of my Gran, and GF and I languishing on the rocks, things have been tough to say the least! I cannot make myself feel something as I do not feel, I am numb, but I can make myself do the right thing for others despite how I feel.

Like a cold Yorkie pudding (ta Pea's), I just want to be left alone, be with my own emotions and thoughts. I dont want to explain to everyone that my Grans passing was a blessing (it was), thats she led a good life (she did), although she suffered (from old age), I am sad that she is not here, but I just want to be left alone, not have to explain, not have to fake a smile. But being a guy, I have to be there for everyone else, I will do the right thing, for now.

I will wait until this feeling passes.

This is not a cool feeling, but I suppose it makes us who we are. A bit introspective and dark these days...the sun will come out.

I start my new job on the 1st April, thats kinda cool and scary.

S.

C'est la Vie!

2008-03-25T23:30:00.001-07:00

Human life consists in mutual service. No grief, pain, misfortune, or "broken heart," is excuse for cutting off one's life while any power of service remains. But when all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.

I am sad as hell, walking in a cloud of smog, my Gran died this morning and my relationship is on the rocks. Life is rarely as we would like it to be rather it is exactly as it is. Today, I will remember my Gran. She was (hell its crap to use that term), a feisty old Gran, who cut to the bone when she spoke and was fiercely independent. She didn’t skirt around an issue and said it as it should be, shockily at time, hell I digged that.

I was with her on Easter Saturday and Monday, she was semi-lucid and skeletal thin, but still defiant as an arrogant king on the brink of losing his kingdom. She had no excuses, she had no regrets (that I knew of...), she wanted to go, she wanted to stop lying in bed, and she wanted to walk again. I hope she is happy, I loved her, I am glad I told her so before I left on Monday.

Birth, life, and death -- each takes a place on the hidden side of a leaf.

Rest in peace Gran, you will be missed.

S.

Easter

2008-03-20T05:17:00.000-07:00

Have a cool Easter, DBN is going to be swamped by tourists, the retailers are going to love it!

I grew up on the South Coast of KZN, in the small town of Ramsgate, back in those "old days", it was the epi-centre of the JHB express of tourits, I remember being a little Grom (young surfer), and walked passed two old dudes wearing G-String speedometres. I shat myself and ever since, the memory has been seared into my salty brain. I hope to all that is merciful I dont see one on Durbans or Umhlanga's beaches this long w/end.

May all the rock spider wear baggies/boardshorts and keep the banana hammocks for funky JHB sex parties.

Adios,
S.

2008-03-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

Boredom is painful, I am itchy to leave and move on...

I have been put out to pasture this last month, and have revelled in the lack of responsibility!! The problem with this (lack of responsibility & work) is the boredom, jeez I hate it! I think that the only difference between man and monkeys is that monkeys are merely bored, while man has boredom plus imagination, the imagination of man is the killer. I imagine that with my time I could be spending my time on a deserted beach reading great book, or just nothing at all...I just do not want to be bored at the office, where you have to act busy, be polite etc...

So I start my new job in less than 6 working days, nervously excited is the term that I have been replying to everybody that has been asking me about my feelings towards starting my new job. Thus after handing over pretty much everything 2 weeks ago, people have left me alone...woo hoo, let me list my "working day":

1) Log in computer, check all blogs. (30 min)
2) Reply to all email (30 min)
3) Make coffee (10 min)
4) Check Facebook, news on what mates are doing, etc. (30 min)
5) Log on and play some FB poker, I was killing it yesterday! (30 min - 1 hour depending on if I am winning)
6)Go out for a 2-hour lunch/do chores/shit on kitchen guy (2 hours or more)
7)Browse web (indefinite time)
8)Talk office politics (indefinite time)
9)Ask people if I can help them with something, but I suspect that they do as little work normally...I suspect I had been doing far too work prior to 2 weeks ago!!

In essence I am freaking BORED, I wish that I could just leave work and have the last 2 weeks off, to just sleep in and chill before I start my job. Cause as we all know, when you start a new job, you have to act all MR KEEN & MR NICE GUY & MR I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING (SO I SMILE AND PRETEND). That’s all very draining, thus the need to have a break, do what I want, and get re-charged for the newness of the new job.

SIGH...life aint perfect, so we chug along, being bored is as draining as being super busy, you are still as knackered when you get home at night.

Ellen Par says that "the cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity", I cant wait to get out of my current job, as I have lost all curiosity for it, and super keen for the new one, well because its new, and will learn so much (cant wait)!

Get Away

2008-03-17T01:07:00.000-07:00

Streepies the pet Zebra digged white bread, she wasnt concerned about the carb intake!

Getting away re-charges your batteries and lets a little perspective into your life! The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. So its good to get away and let the world stop for a while.

GF, and myself joined another couple for a weekend away at a private game farm, shit sakes it was super luxury, first class all the way! Maids, air-con, quad bikes, game drives and food food food, oh glorious food! I reckon I put on 3 kg's this w/end, fantastic!!

We drank, played 30 seconds, which caused a hilarious fight between the other couple:

Boyfriend: What’s the opposite of North

Girlfriend: West? East? West? Help me for Fucks sakes!!!

Boyfriend: OMG, what the hell is the opposite of North, you dummy

[This scene carries on for a while with them arguing how stupid they both are]

Girlfriend: FUCK YOU (grabs boyfriends balls)

Boyfriend: Freaks sticks his fingers in his beer and flicks some beer on her.

(I am wetting my pants laughing so hard, good to see that other couples go nuts too)?

MELTDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They both storm off, screaming, they make up and all is happy. 30 Seconds is dangerous.

The coolest thing was the animals on this farm were so tame; we had Nyala, Kudu, and Zebra eating the the garden's grass whilst we were eating breakfast. Saw Giraffe, Warthog, etc 10 meters from the quad bikes. AMAZING.

Po the peacock, and a wild baby waterbuck, in the front yard, insane!

I feel super good, I forgot how relaxing doing nothing but looking can be. Was nice to get out of the new house, stresses of the kitchen not being done. When we drove back, I could feel the closer we got, the more tension wound up my spine.

Only 2 weeks to go before my new job can’t wait. I hate, sitting and waiting at my present one.

Adios, have a great week - cant wait till Easter Week End.

S.

Passport Hack

2008-03-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

I drive a taxi, and I can do whatever the fuck I want! So smile...whitey.

My passport expired (I only found this out on a disastrous expedition to Mozambique, where the whole party had to return state side, because I am a monkey), so I had to get a new one.

The process is one of controlled madness, the following happened:

1) Evade the taxi drivers in the road, on the pavement, in way of the entrance. These people really piss me off they are as arrogant as ever, nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young taxi driver who thinks that they are bullet proof, accident proof and literally a law unto their own. When you climb out of your car (in the road), ask them to move (they had parked across the entrance), this teenage driver looks at you with dead eyes, clicks his tongue and tells me to "fuck off whitey". I am fully aware that these guys are working; we all need to make a buck, but be considerate. I wish my Polo was equipped with bull bars to ram this prick, I did try (mount the curb to get into the gates), although my bumper got dinged, I was fuming fucking mad!!!

Anyhoo, I laughed off this, TIA (this is Africa - watch Blood Diamonds).

2) I get into the parking lot, and get approached by two Indian guys, who offer me fake passports. Dude, I can get a real one, No, No, they say, Australian passports. WTF!!!!! You can buy an Australian passport, they change the pic and WHAM-O you can legally shag a sheep! The thought crossed my mind, although laughed and walked off. I love the Indian culture in DBN, its so diverse, Indians are traders extraordinaire, they more connected than an old MS DOS computer. The guys I met this day, have lower morals than Sodom & his brother/sister (not sure) Gomorra, and all the time have a smile on their dial, whilst selling some dude stolen passport outside Home Affairs, with a cop station right next door. I was not even angry, I was actually impressed.

3) Get into Home Affairs, saw the queue and walked right back out, I need to get here at first light to get first in line, to sort this passport issue out.

The process of getting in, and a stamp is hectic, I had to shake my head, and think of South Africa as whole. I love this country and its totally unique idiosyncrasies, like a lucky packet you never know what you going to get, this is what I love. Good or Bad, I dig this country, I just don’t want my family getting hurt, and this is what scares me. I hope I don’t get scared away.

I am looking forward to this w/end, heading out to a mates private game farm, they have a pet Zebra. Cant wait, I haven’t seen wild life in ages, it will make a nice change from the beach.

S.